You can't win EVERYTHING in a lottery. Shame.(landthepart.com)
As I think of the fact that Matt Holliday could get $100 million dollars this offseason and how my bank account is slowly dwindling in this job search, I got to thinking: What if I saw a pig fly, got struck by lightning three times, survived, went to the convenience store and bought a ticket that brought me a 9-figure fortune? Well, other than spontaneously having the ability to do constant somersaults while being able to scream in octaves only dogs can hear, thinking of the rest was a harder task than I thought. Come to think of it, a fortune like that is as scary as it is exhilarating because you know your life won't be the same. With fortune comes the challenge of creating a new comfort zone, one that is by far different from the one that most of us so-called normal people exist in. But since I'm in fantasy land right now, I will have fun thinking up the 5 major things I would do if I was bathing in millions, and dating Megan Fox (Hey, I'm in fantasy land, remember?)!
1. Get myself the best financial advisors/lawyers available.
These are arguably the most important people to add to your entourage. More important than that Dodge Viper purchase, or buying one of P. Diddy's old homes. In fact, if I wanted to have money by the end of it all, they would be most of my entourage. Realizing that money will only bring new issues to the forefront, these intelligent individuals will at least shine a light before I invest in anything with the word, "Madoff" or somehow become tempted to give my money to a random dude with a sob story. You know all those people who said it takes money to make money? They're right. The advisors are vital not only to be the checks and balance system for my riches, but also help make my money work for me so I could keep living my desired lifestyle, as well as pave the way to pursue other desires. It is good to have a solid legal/financial team to guide you in the midst of your personal money delirium. These people are paid to think straight (or so I hope), all so you don't end up as one of the sob stories on one of those 'E! Investigates' shows. After all, as the great comedian/personal life philosopher Chris Rock said in his 'Never Scared' HBO special, rich is "something you can lose with a crazy summer and a drug habit."
2. Give back to those who have given to me.
And you were able about to label me as selfish, were ya'? I consider myself to be a decent person with a pretty good life, so I have to pay thanks to those who were a big part of the process. First, I would start a scholarship at my alma mater Babson College. They gave me a scholarship not only to prevent me having massive heart failure from looking at my final sum on my loans, but provided me with an experience that has enriched my life. It would be phenomenal to give that gift to some other young minds. I would also help pay the debts of my closest family and friends, which doesn't extend past how many fingers I have, and I plan on keeping it that way. Can't afford to put a whole conga line on my payroll. I figure if that the people who meant the most to me are having a good time, it would make me appreciate my money a little more and worry less about the other looming issues of having some cash money.
3. Run a business that I will be most passionate about.
It seems as if these lottery winners treat their magic moment as the end. End of what you ask? An end to their worries, their common sense, their drive for success and even the end of their need for the values and morals that have guided them to that point in life. With that mentality, you can see why a lot of these stories don't end in a happily ever after. With all that money, I would see the beginning of a lot of opportunities to make more money, but to be a part of something that I will absolutely be passionate about. All of that, and I don't have to beg a VC for any of the start-up cash. Don't get me wrong, I will be probably work it so I would be on vacation for a majority of the year, but I also would want to feel like I am contributing to the world at large. Running an independent music label for my eclectic music tastes? Possibility. Creating a dating site based on relationship resumes? Intriguing. Running a sports team? Jackpot! It doesn't even have to be my favorite team. Even John Henry was a Cardinals fan when he was a kid, the team in which his Red Sox had to beat to overcome an 86 year drought. For example, I would love to be part of the ownership group who brought some sort of professional sports championship to Cleveland. However, the most intriguing project for me would be to create a business with my friend Mike that will be based on the outdoor paintball concept with authentic battlefield setups. Imagine if your job was to shoot paint at unsuspecting paying customers at 400 rounds a minute. It's about as fun as a surprise trip to Vegas. Well, speaking of.....
4. Private jet, please!
Now we're getting decadent. A couple of months ago, I probably wouldn't have considered a jet in my private fantasy purchases. It seemed too show-offy, like those multi-million dollar yachts the sultans own. The last thing I want to do is show more random people that I have a few extra bucks. Plus, I complain every time I go to fill my Jeep every week now. Imagine a whole plane? But think about it. This is easily the most practical item for a rich man's impulse. Especially for a travel aficionado like myself, it's almost vital. Imagine, you are in your mansion cellar dusting off the champagne collection on the East Coast when you realize that the Super Bowl is that day. One call to your pilot, and your day is made! The only hassle would be that 10 minute drive to that small airport. No security, no tripping over yourself just because you need to check in an hour before a flight (international flights, 3 hours) and no temptation from useless stuff at the duty free. The plane takes off as soon as you get on and you are watching championship pigskin with your best buds in no time. Want to attend a big holiday in a foreign country? You will be tipsy on their beer quicker than you can say cerveza. Vegas? You will be at the doors of Circus Circus in a blink. As for the gas, that's why I hired financial advisors! Or maybe I should look into a hovercraft instead.
5. Leave the country ASAP and travel the world!
My favorite of them all. In pretty much every lottery curse story, there are always people who have everybody from third cousins to their first grade bullies knocking on the door and sending mail to pull at the winner's heartstrings, all to get a little green. Hell, I've seen it with people with just thousands. All of that, and then in the end when the giver needs help, the takers become Al Qaeda and never pop out their heads again. This would be a hellish part of being rich for me just because sometimes I have more empathy and tolerance than I should. What a better way than to fly in the jet above all the beggars on the way to Monaco, or Venice, or Tokyo, wherever. I would go to every country I could, eat their food, party with the natives, learn their languages and most importantly enjoy the general anonymity that being in a foreign country would provide. By traveling, I'd feel like I had the space to live and fulfill myself, more than that sports car (I would still buy it) and that house with the bar below it (ditto) would. The most important part in maintaining your psyche in an extraordinary situation is to avoid those temptations and pitfalls that you would easily avoid if you had only spare change in your pocket.
(CEB II)
What would you do with all this?(treehugger.com)
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