Monday, July 6, 2009

Fireworks, Franks And Female Fertility

Insert all crude wiener jokes here.
(img.metro.co.uk)

I'm proud to announce that the real summertime has finally arrived. It's great that Mother Nature had decided to stop her daily water experiments to let all of us enjoy America's birthday and the weekend accompanying it. Nice to get some Vitamin D every once in a while. I participated in my first barbecue of the season as well as witnessed another Sox victory at America's Most Beloved Ballpark. Watching Mike O'Malley outduel Mark Wahlberg in the ceremonial first pitch was an event in itself. At least he still has "Good Vibrations" and Boogie Nights as part of his legacy, earning him big-time respect in my book. While I missed all bits of coverage of the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest (on purpose of course), I still consider my weekend complete and eventful. Of course, the sports world had a few classic moments while America was busy celebrating its 233rd birthday. A world record 68 hot dogs were scarfed down by the spindly Mr. Chestnut, the Williams sisters made another dominating run to monopolize the Wimbledon women's final, and a Tiger came through in yet another golf tournament. And that's not even scratching the surface. From baseball to tennis, there were as many fireworks in between the lines as there were in the Boston sky on Saturday night. So as I wait for Nomar's much-awaited return on Fenway soil in almost 5 years, I give you what's burning in my head from this past weekend.

One reason why I don't feel bad for Mr. Roddick
(friendsoftheprogram.files.wordpress.com)

Call me adventurous, for I am again diving into a sector of the sports world that I rarely venture in. Then again, it would be hard for me to write this entry and not mention yesterday's ESPN Classic-worthy Wimbledon final. Who would have thought that another classic final would have occurred a year after the amazing Federer-Nadal final, which was like a chess match with rackets? Who would have known that Andy Roddick, who was considered as a washed-up tennis brat by some, would not only make it to the finals, but give arguably the greatest player in the history of a sport a workout that resembled Jerry Rice's training sessions? It took a total of 4 hours and 16 minutes (longest match in Grand Slam history) for Roger Federer to triumph, with a final set tally of 16-14 to win his record-breaking 15th Grand Slam championship (19-2 overall against Roddick). As monumental as that accomplishment was, all the talk was about Andy Roddick's valiant effort. I have to admit, I was one of those many voices that thought that Andy Roddick (or as I like to say, the A-Rod without the asterisk) was the tennis version of Eric Lindros. Both were hyped up to become the next greatest things in their sport, but injuries and bratty reputations had steered their careers in an undesired direction. But I was also impressed that he was almost able to stand in the way of Federer's grand accomplishment, even with a bad hip. The sentiment for Roddick's performance was so strong, that the Wimbledon crowd called him out for an encore. There even seems to be a feeling of sorrow for Roddick and his tough loss. So do I feel sorry for him? Well, not necessarily so. I mean he has made millions in the sport, has a model wife, and has been given great praise and chances to be the Golden Boy of tennis. However, you have to respect the effort he gave out there on Sunday, for his appearance in this final seemed as probable as Al Franken getting a seat in the Senate (or so we thought). This brings up the second question of whether this was a good loss. My answer: No loss is ever ultimately good. You will still feel that emptiness of the soul, especially in a tightly contested match like this. You will still dwell upon all the methods you should have pursued in order to triumph. I am also a big fan of that famous Herm Edwards quote, you know, that thing about playing and winning games. But I think this loss was beneficial for Roddick because it bolstered his reputation. He arguably got a louder reception at Wimbledon for his loss than in his win at the 2003 U.S. Open. He also renewed (Dare I say it?) America's interest in tennis at least for a little while. So let's not feel sorry for him, let's not over hype him but let us praise him for his gritty performance. Never thought I'd ever say this, but well done, Andy.


Ladies, lock up your medicine cabinets.
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Last Friday marked the return of the mercurial Manny to the Dodger lineup. As a recovering Manny-holic, I had to comprehend why his return has had a totally unexpected reaction in comparison to some of his tainted peers. Yes, Manny is more of a teddy-bear figure in contrast to the surly Bonds*, but is all of this forgiveness warranted? Every minor league appearance brought in hordes of Manny fans similar to if the Dave Matthews Band were to romp into your town. It was almost as if no one was even slightly aware of the "hCG-gate" scandal. There was even less awareness that it was around this time last year that Manny pretty much decided to end his Red Sox career prematurely. Despite all of these shady occurrences, the players can't wait for his return, and the owners are just salivating at what cash they can make from the return of "Mannywood" and their sales from dreadlocked wigs. Who would have known that such a positive reaction would come from the return of a player with a known failed test? I sense that Bonds's* head is getting much larger from watching all of this unfold. For one, the L.A. culture I would guess is probably a more lenient one when it comes to dealing with unnatural physical enhancements. It is a city which has been known to put more attention and value to the characters themselves than the character of the sport. I mean, Manny gave a mediocre attempt at following last year's haircut order, and nobody even cared. You know that kind of defiance would have had an exact opposite reaction in the back pages of the Boston and New York papers. It brings us to the simple fact that only the media truly cares about this steroid controversy. We even saw it in San Fransisco with Bonds*. As long as the player still rakes and gives the team a great chance to win, all sins will be forgiven, until you enter the Hall of Fame discussion. Even back in the midst of the steroid era, we didn't really care when players came to Spring Training 30 pounds more muscular than they were in the previous season. We even knew that McGwire regularly took andro, but we didn't care until Congressional hearings started popping up. A-Rod* has received less of the steroid stigma than previously predicted, which only seems to magically pop up when he enters Yawkey Way. We have to remember that this is a sport that has always prided itself on power numbers, and even lowered the height of the pitcher's mound to help offensive production. So be furious at Manny for popping a few female fertility pills, but recognize we can't get mad at him for the attention brought upon him. I'm afraid it is our guilt that we have to share on this one.

You mean, I have to root for this guy now?
(taylormadetirade.files.wordpress.com)

Hot Stove, move over! The NBA offseason has proven to be as action packed as any other sport's down time thus far. Even more intriguing is that it seems the better teams are the ones that are beefing up on this year's free agent class, which makes for intriguing conversation on the streets and in the studios, as well as complicating Vegas gambling patterns. This past weekend, the Celts recently picked up 34 year old Rasheed Wallace to a tune of a 2 year deal. In the past, 'Sheed has been a player that I absolutely loved to hate. With his scrappy play and his constant disregard for anything the refs called, 'Sheed was just one of those players that got under my skin like the scratching of a chalkboard. But now that we have acquired Wallace, I'm raving about the move. With the inevitable departure of Powe, Wallace has the potential to become that versatile contributor off the bench both offensively and defensively. He also adds to the toughness and intensity of a team that needed it after the Garnett injury last year and the lack of a James Posey-type player. Along with the "Boston Three Party", I believe that this move places Boston as the class of the East, even with the Shaq-uisition by the Cavs, and the Magic's signing of Vince Carter, who with Dwight Howard are a couple underachieving seasons away from becoming the most overrated duo in today's NBA. The Magic also got weaker by losing Hedo Turkoglu, who was perhaps their playoff MVP during their run though the playoffs. The Lakers acquisition of Artest doesn't really phase me too much, for the move has the potential to be as damaging as it could be beneficial. By acquiring Artest, the Lakers said good bye to Trevor Ariza, an emerging player who was a key cog to the Laker playoff machine. I also question what kind of effort Phil Jackson will contribute next year, considering he was pondering a situation where he would coach only half of the team's games. I mean, he already has a reputation of being somewhat of a "ghost coach" as is. Especially with Artest, there may be times where Phil will have to intervene a little more than he would like to. Overall, this sets up a situation in which I believe the Celtics could hang up their 18th championship banner. For an offseason that was expected to be hampered by a sluggish economy, my anticipation for November seems to be growing by the minute because of it.

Mochaman's Fantasy Baseball Report
- Bubba Gump Shrimpz - 101-68-13 (1st, Steroid Freaks' Anonymous, 7 UP)
Back on top after pulling off a clutch week against my friend and league commish P-Mac for 1st place. Offense, as usual, showed up just in time before week's end. Pitching was from another universe with 0.87 ERA with a 0.82 WHIP to show a few numbers. Would like to have a big offensive week before the All-Star Break, with Hamilton coming back off the DL.

- Mocha Sox - 48-76-6 (12th, Yahoo Public 38095, 27 GB)
Won my 3rd series in a row, but made up practically nothing. Remain 18.5 GB from playoff contention. Like the Shrimpz, the Sox were helped out by extraordinary pitching, even though it has been mostly rebuilt. Trade still pending to get Felix Hernandez on my squad for Adam Lind. Still waiting patiently for the turnaround.

- Firehawks - 61-64-5 (8th, Yahoo Public 162279, 12.5 GB)
Disappointing week to not only fall out of the playoff bubble, but fall under .500 in a highly competitive league. Offense is just flat lining right now (Bay = .080 average last week). Hamels, Beckett, and Saunders didn't help me out much either. Hope to right the ship and put myself into good position before the break.

Last night, my fantasy football team, the Killa' Beavaz, had finished their draft and are ready to terrify another Yahoo! league. Even though I haven't had much success with managing a football team in years past, I feel a change of luck this year. Expecting big years from McNabb and Fitzgerald this year. Stay tuned, folks!


Bonus: Sox-Mariners Montage

"Centerfield" - John Fogerty - Centerfield, 1985


R.I.P. "Air" McNair
Steve McNair (Feb. 14, 1973 - July 4, 2009)
(gizmotastic.com)

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