I Wanna Slam My Face In Nails....Must Be Winter!

(CEB II)

Winter invasion in the NYC.
(CEB II)

That dreaded season is coming, and apparently with a whole invasion force. I was at a Starbuck's near the World Trade Center site on Saturday afternoon, witnessing flakes going sideways. Luckily it cleared up just in time for my buddy Eric's Studio 31 birthday bash, or as he is now known, Chicken Wang (If you know him, it doesn't make sense, but it does. Ideas created on IHOP food. Just roll with it, folks.). As always, it was good to get away from job search hell and enjoy an adventurous weekend in the city that doesn't sleep, with the Grey Goose flowing like the water on the Trevi Fountain and rooftop bars that have Snuggie rip-offs on the rack. Not to mention that I have achieved a dream of mine by belting out 'New York, New York' with the windows rolled down in Midtown, which almost makes me forget of the never-ending loop that 'Empire State of Mind' was played on in NYC radio stations. However, the parking garage workers apparently take some naps, causing us to have a early morning snack at Koreatown and transforming us into a zombie task force heading back to Long Island on Sunday morning. Plus that street corner food that was a good idea at 3 AM becomes a different story once the sunlight makes an appearance. Am I still recovering from bus lag? Yes. Would I do it all again? Hell yeah! Rather that than shoveling that slushee combo off my driveway. It's probably the one chore that makes me age a legit 50 years after doing it. My fingers have morphed into mini boomerangs and my back is tighter than that dress on Tiger Woods's 4th mistress, or 2nd,......or was it the 7th? Anyhoo, we're 2 weeks away from the time of year I absolutely despise. Get ready to be mope-a-doped.

Now indoor snow puts a smile in my face.
(CEB II)

If you want to avoid a 2012-type pessimistic rant, stop reading now I know I've lived in Mass for 95% of my life, but I still can't get used to winter and the Petri dish that winter creates! I'm already tired of scraping ice and snow off my car in the midst of a leafless landscape. Why should I fall in love with a season where my hands cryogenically freeze when I mix a little moisture with cold air? Why should I like a season in which I feel like I have to skin a bear before crawling into bed every night? Wearing 4 layers of clothing isn't exactly the most flattering thing on the planet. I mean, what's more flattering, a bathing suit, or an ice covered hoodie? Exactly! Explains way Hawaii is more of a destination than Saskatchewan. And let's not talk about how I keep Lubriderm and Chap Stick in business to protect myself from being a human sandpaper experiment. Never have been a skier or boarder, either. Why be outside in the chill when the hot chocolate is in the lodge? Must be the Puerto Rican in me, I guess. Well, snowboarding seemed interesting, until I took a few debilitating wipe outs on my buddy Mike's $10 board on the trash-filled mountain in a closed down dump near my house. And Christmas? Let's just say it has lost its charm since the days I was playing with Ninja Turtle action figures. Being older means buying for other people, which means getting stampeded in a mall by grown men and women just for a Hello Kitty iPod cover. To add onto the many invernal frustrations, it seems as if the Sox are sending signals that the upcoming season will be an off-year of sorts, which totally fits right into another boost in ticket prices (insert sarcasm/anger here), but all my anger here has to go to another entry. You can't accuse me of not trying to enjoy Jack Frost and his winter production. I do have great memories at ole Babson of sledding down an icy hill, and building walls of snow in front of other people's rooms. Even the days get longer and the snow adds an interesting mix to any football game. However, the little winter love I have goes away when I think of the last job I had going door-to-door covered in sleet. So next time you invite me to an ice sculpture party or to be outside to watch a shiny ball descend from a pole, either give me enough Corona so it doesn't matter or have it be in Maui. Cheers!

Mochaman's Fantasy Football Report
- Boston Beersquad - 10-3 (1st, Plax's Got a Gun, 1st in Division 2, 1574.30 Pts.)
Pulled off a huge victory against the top scoring team in the league despite getting a combined 8.3 points from my running backs. Special thanks to Donnie Driver for that dive in the end zone on Monday night. Not only achieved the best record in the league, but more importantly secured a bye week for a league that starts its playoffs 1 week early to avoid the Week 17 shutdown of the league. Can we possibly put a championship on the board for the 'Squad? With my history in fantasy football, just hold on to the ticker tape for now.

- Killa' Beavaz - 8-5 (4th, Yahoo Public 179914, 1274.98 Pts.)
Hate the what ifs of a week that you lose, especially when you lose by a 2.4 point deficit (Thanks Ben Watson for not getting a single yard. Much appreciated.). Now holding on by a thread to a playoff spot in a league where I was cruising just a few weeks ago. 1 week left and facing one of the three 8-5 teams in the league, which needless to say, is a tightrope situation in the 179914. Oh, and can someone tell Dean Pees to give some 5 Hour Energy to the Pats D next Sunday? Thanks.