Valentine's Day: My Anti-Christmas

If Valentine's Day only had a genie.....
(www.ventertainmentonline.com)

How come I feel a sudden urge to watch Scarface while in my boxers with crumbs of a toasted tuna sandwich over me in a dark room (come to think of it, that's every lazy Saturday night)? Oh yeah. Great. It's the 14th of February. Time to be exposed with more unnecessary occurrences of PDA and over gushing, all brought to you by Hallmark, making something so real become so corporate. I'm not exactly a big fan of an arbitrary day telling you that it's okay to be in love, or to have it be okay to passionately maul your boyfriend/girlfriend in the food court with the restraint of a set of brakes on a Toyota, just because he/she gave you that teddy bear that was sold on the street corner the day before. Even worse is that the day almost represents a day of death and torture for singles like myself. The day becomes a reminder of everyone asking you why you don't have that significant other to the point where I feel people are convincing me that I have some kind of invisible leprosy I have to get rid of. In this 'Ross and Rachel' and 'Carrie and Big' world, being single isn't exactly the 'in' thing, and that other person is the necessary antidote from everybody looking at you with the crazy goggles. To top it off, most of my closest friends are in relationships, which admittedly has me yearning a bit. I admit, I'm a little bitter, considering my love life is a eclectic cross of 'Some Guys Have All The Luck' by Rod Stewart, 'All By Myself' by Eric Carmen and 'Tie Me Down' by the New Boyz. But here's the thing: I like being single, in fact I love it. Hey couples, don't take this as an Angelina Jolie edict made to sever your relationship. Besides, on this day, I have the right to revel in my joy, too!

The look of a guy still on the go.
(CEB II)

Enjoying being single is definitely a process in today's society, but it's doable. All it is simply enjoying yourself in a way, while having that confidence to tackle goals by any means, regardless of what is said next to your marital status on Facebook. The open access to meet new people, to develop personal ideals and having the ability to make your own personal assessments make the single life as open as Route 9 at 4 AM. It's good to be free a young adult who is living life on his own terms, which comes naturally as an only child. Besides, independence is way more attractive than clinginess, and no one can afford clinginess (not to mention I can't really afford a girlfriend currently). I guess I was in the same mindset, like 80% of the world, that a "soul mate" was to boost my ambitions and be the completion of my personal jigsaw puzzle. In truth, my searching held me back a bit because I had the wrong mindset all along, that a person would complete everything and change my life. Every time I failed in a pursuit, I would question myself constantly, treating my continued solitude as ineptitude, all with Spandau Ballet in the background. But I realized that completion of self has to come first before you are ever to truly appreciate somebody else. To quote Chris Rock (because he's right almost 100% of the time), "You're never gonna meet somebody who likes Seinfeld and The Wu Tang Clan." There's no such thing as the perfect person, so why was I trying so hard to obtain her? Besides, I realize that when I do find that person, it's gonna require gigantic amount of commitment that I might not be ready for. I'm use to doing about things without having to please another person. I like booking that random trip to New York on a whim. I like wearing my semi-dirtied sports jersey on an important gameday. I like having the choice to eat mac and cheese for 3 meals a day. The challenge of commitment for me is not the person, but it is accepting the sacrifice of all of those simple pleasures and adventures that I have done and still want to embark on, and I'm not sure if I'm ready to give all that up yet.

Guess this year I'll celebrate with my new love: Soccer.
(imagebam.com)

So you probably ask after all that ranting, "Are you still looking?" Of course. I don't plan on keeping this life up forever. Besides, frequent flirting is just part of the fun when your single. The difference is when I flirt now, it's more enjoyable, and less of being about having throwing all the marbles to get a certain chick to like me, a mode which got me out of my more attractive social personality and misleading people with a more fabricated self, and sometimes even brought out my overly-competitive nature. Over the past few years, I have learned to enjoy being free of the chain without succumbing to the pressure of society to shack up with just anyone, which boldly explains why the divorce rate is at 50%. At the end of the day, I'm still in the exploration phase of finding that special someone who is willing to dance along to the beat of my distinctive drum rhythm every once in a while, not to mention accept all those quirky things that make me the unique person I am. I guess in a way, my active solitude will better ready me for that future relationship not only because I display to the woman who I really am, but I will have more to give back in a sharing-intensive interaction like a relationship. After all, you have to remember that relationships are more about shared experiences than filling personal voids. So I guess I'll ride this single thing out while I can, at least until I find the one whose drum beats along with my heart. Happy Anti-Christmas everybody!