Invaded And Conquered

Wow, and the season hasn't even started yet!
(news.xinhuanet.com)

Their stature almost compare to the real players. Amazing!
(CEB II)

Well, at least Barcelona won the Spanish Super Cup this weekend. The Catalonian club won their 8th national Super Cup against Athletic Bilbao 3-0 this past Sunday afternoon/evening (depending on where you were at) with help from another dominant Messi performance. To potentially sweeten the deal, Barça has the chance to tally a second championship (the UEFA Super Cup) against Ukrainian squad Shakhtar Donetsk on Friday, all before the La Liga season commences on the last day of the month. But tainting all of this joy is another lackluster performance from a local team I somewhat follow. Granted it's not as bad as the recent Michael Beasley situation, or the juicy Rick Pitino scandal (It's actually kinda funny. For what he did to the Celtics, it's probably not shocking that I have no sympathy for his recent plight.), but it's enough to have me looking like Private Pyle in that infamous bathroom scene in Full Metal Jacket (It's more legit to call it the head, but "head scene" sounds just a tad risque don't ya' think?). As predicted by many, the Yankees came into town and took two out of three at America's Most Beloved Ballpark. And unfortunately, I was there for the bookends. Not only did I get to see the Giants and the Patriots (a.k.a, "The Penny/Bowden Blowout Show") play at Fenway on Friday, I got to see Home Run Derby Part II on Sunday as Beckett got lit up for his second start in a row. I look at the schedule and realize that there is 39 games left in the regular season and the Sox are behind by a fairly distant 7.5 games back in the division. One part of my weary brain tells me that there is tons of time left to make up some kind of ground to make things at least remotely interesting. After all, we have scored 5.9 runs per game since acquiring Victor Martinez at the trade deadline. Speaking of V-Mart, he has been a beast in the Sox lineup with 5 homers, 16 batted in and a .971 OPS since putting on Red Sox. And I know I have been a huge supporter of trading this kid (and still am), but Clay Buchholz may be shaping up as that solid middle of the rotation guy the Red Sox so desperately need down the final stretch as he has displayed impressive performances against Sabathia, Verlander and Halladay. Even Junichi Tazawa came through with a solid 6 inning outing outing against the Yanks this weekend. But the other part of my cerebral motor guides me to some other disturbing facts. Since the All-Star Break, the Red Sox have only won 5 out of 19 games against teams above .500, not exactly playoff caliber. I'm just sick of the one cliche that many have been saying about the team; that we're built for the postseason. I'd like to remind these same people that we have to make it there first. And with Beckett allowing 8 HR and 15 ER in his last 13 1/3 innings pitched, making it is no guarantee right now. The once invincible Bard now has a 10.80 ERA with 4 bombs allowed this month, after allowing 0 homers and having a 2.08 ERA going into August. All of this recent Billy Wagner-talk has me question, "Do we need any more old, surgically repaired guys on this club to begin with?" As Fransisco Liriano has taught us recently, Tommy John surgery isn't exactly easy to come back from, and as what Eric Gagne taught us in '07, this could easily be a dud move that almost destroys a unit that overall doesn't need any fixing. Even with the recent outings from Buchholz and Tazawa, I'm not exactly banking all of our postseason hopes and dreams on these kids. Our over-hyped "young stud" Bowden and the painfully inconsistent Penny did their best to try to make me jump off the State Street Pavilion on Friday night. All these starting rotation ailments make the Wakefield outing on Wednesday a possible indicator of how the rest of our season could go. And can you believe that I'm actually looking forward to Dice-K's return? It's like that in Red Sox Nation lately. The white-hot Yanks have an upcoming series against the Rangers, which makes this series against Chicago arguably more important than this past one against our pinstriped rivals. No matter what the results are at the Bronx, losing is definitely not an option in any scenario. And hey, it's the return of Mark Kotsay!

Our starting pitching depth in a nutshell.
(CEB II)


Bonus: Sox-Yankees Weekend Montage

"Low Rider" - War - Why Can't We Be Friends?, 1975
"Hard Rock Hallelujah" - Lordi - The Arockalypse, 2006

Mochaman's Fantasy Baseball Report

- Bubba Gump Shrimpz - 158-101-21 (1st, Steroid Freaks' Anonymous, 1.5 UP)
Now the jumbo Shrimpz once again with two weeks left in the fantasy regular season. I have clinched a playoff spot and have virtually clinched a bye-week for the 1st round. No easy tasks ahead as I have to avenge a loss from 10 weeks back this week, followed by the "Series of the Century" against my buddy P-Mac's team for possibly the division crown. Doesn't get any better than this.

- Mocha Sox - 89-104-7 (10th, Yahoo Public 38095, 27 GB)
Won the series, but still need to make up 11 to get to the playoffs, which is a virtual miracle at this point. My once-clutch pitching staff has gone through a bit of a hiccup lately, stunting my progression up the league leader board. Crunch time is officially here for Mocha Magic. Can't afford any mediocrity at this point if I want to avoid the consolation bracket.

- Firehawks - 87-101-12 (9th, Yahoo Public 162279, 29.5 GB)
Ouch! Another series loss puts my playoff chances in jeopardy. The non-present offense is only one of my many worries as Josh Beckett had two pitiful starts this week. Like the Mocha Sox, I have a chance only because I am playing the last place team in the division this week, but time is quickly fading fast.

Rumble In The Rog: Sox - Jays Gamecast

The Red Sox (66-51) haven't exactly hit the ground running in the 2nd half and have found themselves playing catchup in all aspects of the playoff picture by losing 8 out of their last 9 road games. On the other side of the coin, we are trying to keep pace with a Yankees team that just won't die, kinda like Mike Myers, or Brett Favre's career (a.k.a, The Mississippi Waffle. Giving myself a high five for that one!). The Blue Jays (55-61) are coming off a 2-4 road trip against the Yankees and Rays (Hey! Better than us. O.K. I'll stop being bitter.), and are free of the underachieving Alex Rios. One nugget of good news is that Kevin Youkilis is coming back after his 5 game suspension for going all "El Toro" in the Tigers game on Tuesday night. However, the lineup will be minus an MVP as Dustin Pedroia is heading back to Boston to be beside his wife for the birth of their first child. Goes to show that even nature doesn't want us to have a complete lineup. Hope all goes well for the Pedroias. On the mound for the Sox is stopper Josh Beckett (14-4) who is again attempting to get the team out of quicksand in the heat of the pennant race, while trying to lower his gigantic 6.85 career ERA at the Rog. He faces off against AL Rookie of the Year candidate Ricky Romero (10-5), who has had a phenomenal campaign for the Jays, but has struggled mightily against the Sox in his 2 outings (9 RA in 8 1/3 innings). The Sox better win here today, or I'm gonna have to get like a Raiders' head coach in here.

7:10 PM - After 8 pitches, Ellsbury is punched out by the sloth-like Tim McClleland. He might have called that strike from the last game he umped. Maybe he is on a natural five second delay, just so they can edit out his goofed up calls. 1 down

7:12 PM - Drew ropes a single to right, upping his totals at the Rog to a blistering 3 for 23. Putting some fire on ice!

7:13 PM - Double play will get us out of the inning. Same ole song and dance. Apparently 'Tek's neck is killing him, making it the 1st time V-Mart will catch Beckett. Must be from watching all those runners run on him in Texas this past weekend. It was a whiplash inducing event for me, too.

7:18 PM - Aaron Hill strokes his 23rd double of the year to go along with the quietest 28 homers in 2009. Would be a mega-star if he was with a team on a bigger market, or for a team that's not in 4th place.

7:23 PM - Wait for it....wait for it..............STRIKE 3! Overbay strikes out looking just as he was about to walk to 1st base. Games with this McClleland guy must take at least 5 hours to complete. I don't remember seeing him doing any Red Sox-Yankees games, and probably for good reason. We'd be here till Christmas.

7:25 PM - It's the return of the Yooooooooooooouk! Youk re-enters with a double in the left-centerfield gap. He could be that Energizer that our offense needs for this stretch run. Trust me, we need every ounce of ability.

7:29 PM - J Bay Bay walks, putting 2 on with no out. Really convincing myself not to turn off the TV right now as double play candidate Mike Lowell comes to the plate. Remote hand is really shaking like Captain Miller's hand in Saving Private Ryan.

7:32 PM - Lowell bloops a single to load them up. Rollin' the dice with Papi coming up. Again doing a rain dance to avoid a double play.

7:33 PM - Ortiz goes opposite field to drive in 2 with the double. 2-0 Sox! Very professional piece of hitting. Made me forget he was hitting .223 this year. Still nobody out. C'mon Nicky!

7:36 PM - Green looks lost swinging on an outside breaking ball for strike 3. Now dipping below .160 for the month of August. McClleland called that one pretty quickly. 1 down. Here comes 2006 Sox "legend" Alex Gonzalez.

7:38 PM - Groundout by Gonzalez, but the run still comes in. 3-0 Sox. Thank God I dropped Romero off of my 2nd place fantasy team last week. I'd be sobbing uncontrollably with all of these hits.

7:41 PM - And Ortiz is safe!!!!! 4-0 for the Beantowners off the Ellsbury single. If I were the catcher, I wouldn't be anywhere near the plate if I saw #34 rumbling towards me. I'll just go back to the manager and say I choose life. By looking at my skinny frame, I think he would understand.

7:43 PM - The Jays are finally out of it, but the damage is done. A four run inning for us lately has been as hard to come by as a snowy day in Tempe.

7:46 PM - Wow, really? Randy Ruiz hits a bomb to get the Jays on the board. That is his 3rd homer in 23 at bats this year. Should I be concerned?

7:48 PM - Beckett out of it, but not after allowing a solo shot to a guy who was killing the PCL as far as a few weeks ago. Hopefully our offense didn't shut down, because even with Beckett on the mound, we might need some heavy coverage.

7:51 PM - V-Mart singles by the dive of Scutaro. Beginning to have a man-crush on him like every Midwestern Caucasian male has for Brett Favre. At least mine doesn't make career decisions like John Kerry makes political decisions, all while placing a whole team hostage on his every flip-flopping word. In the meantime, he hasn't accomplished anything truly significant in the past decade while crashing and burning on a playoff contender last year. Do I seem bitter?

7:54 PM - After a Youk walk, Heidi brings the news that Dustin Pedroia made it in time to see the birth of his son. Dylan Pedroia was born at 7 lbs. and 20.5 inches. Wow, he's almost at daddy's height!

7:56 PM - Well, I had to see that coming. Lowell grounds into the double play to end the inning. However, Romero isn't getting that extra zip on his pitches tonight. Would really like to get more than 4 runs tonight.

7:59 PM - And 4 runs getting less comfortable by the minute. Beckett ain't exactly doing his part to stop the bleeding. Travis Snider, who is fresh from Triple A, hits an opposite field blast to start the bottom of the 3rd. Now looking for a paper bag in my room.

8:06 PM - With 2 out, Adam Lind whacks a double on a hanging breaking ball. This V-Mart/Beckett thing is starting off a little shaky. Never really understood the catcher familiarity thing too well. I mean, even the most successful pitcher primarily throws the same pitches in just about the same particular locations every time. Especially in the age of videos and iPods, you should have a pitcher's routine down cold in no time.

8:09 PM - *Cricket noises*......*More cricket noises*..............Strike 3! Overbay again strikes out looking to end the inning on a 5-second tape delay.

8:11 PM - Guess Papi doesn't like commercial breaks. In a mega-instant, Ortiz rocks his 18th jack into the stands at the Centre. Loving the handshake with V-Mart. Nice to add some cushion, considering history tells us that Beckett will have a shaky outing tonight in this ballpark.

8:12 PM - Green benefits from a botched play on a liner by Snider. Make that an E9 for "Sni-dawg". In other news, McClleland just called the Papi hit a homerun.

8:14 PM - Bunt hit for Gonzalez! Is this the Red Sox? 1st and 3rd with nobody out.

8:15 PM - An Ellsbury sac fly makes it 6-2. Rubbing my eyes, and still thinking that I'm watching another team.

8:16 PM - Who am I watching? Drew drops down another bunt for the Sox, moving over Gonzo. Runner in scoring position with 2 out with V-Mart coming up. Since when was Mike Scioscia managing this team?

8:18 PM - V-Mart will walk on 4 pitches, and it looks like Cito has had enough of seeing Sox flying around the bases. Slick Ricky Romero is out, and Shawn Camp is coming in to mop up the remains for the Jays.

8:23 PM - Camp gets out of it, but the Sox have a 4 run pad again. Maybe Dave Magadan is actually working with these guys after all. Final line for Romero: 3 2/3 innings, 8 H, 5 ER, 3 BB, and 2 Ks. Apparently still suffering from previous woes against the Sox.

8:26 PM - Vernon Wells, who has probably hit .983 against the Sox in his career which contributed to his receiving of a multi-million dollar deal, doubles to left to start the bottom of the 4th. Forget the catcher/pitcher relationship, that was just pitiful location. John Smoltz even said that he hung that one.

8:28 PM - Just after a groundout, Bay and Ellsbury almost created a clip for the "Jacked Up" segment for NFL Primetime. Wells tags up to score.

8:30 PM - Phew! Another hanging breaking ball by Beckett, but just foul. Since when did Brad Penny lose weight and wear # 19?

8:31 PM - We're out of it, but Beckett is uncharacteristically making a game out of this.
Not feeling confident with Beckett making it even to the 6th right now.

8:33 PM - Wow! Can these guys give me time to rest my fingers? On the first pitch of the 5th, J Bay Bay continues his red-hot August with his 6th homer of the month, which is officially more than what he got in the past two. 7-3 Crimson Hose. The Sox absolutely need his production more than Speidi needs publicity.

8:37 PM - Sox exit the top half with another run added to the lead. Be big if Beckett can put a 0 on the board in this frame.

8:41 PM - Snider starts off the home half with a single. The tight rope act continues as the paper bag begins to get a workout.

8:43 PM - Hill gets his 2nd double of the night while putting runs in scoring position. Please tell me someone is warming up right now. Please don't tell me that I'm profusely sweating with the AC on.

8:44 PM - Is this a batting practice session for curveballs? Lind singles to drive in 2. Now only 7-5 Sox. Definitely the worst performance I've seen from Beckett in over 2 months. Delcarmen now starting to warm up.

8:49 PM - Aaaaaaaaaaand exhale. Overbay strikes out swinging this time to earn the silver sombrero. My sweat glands are now working overtime now that Sox killer Vernon Wells is up to the plate. 2 down.

8:50 PM - Wells strikes out! Another scary inning for the Sox ace. Who would have known that the Sox would have scored 7 runs at the half way point with Beckett on the mound, and it would still be a nail biter? Shouldn't influence myself to anymore bad habits at this point.

8:56 PM - Ellsbury wins the lefty-lefty battle against new pitcher Jesse Carlson. The fact that we need a couple of runs here should be nominated as Understatement of the Year, even if it's only the 6th.

9:00 PM - I'm wondering how that Sullivan Tire commercial with Pedroia on the trampoline ever got done. If he actually was on the trampoline, then you're telling me that John Henry didn't pull the plug as soon as he saw Pedroia supposedly putting his career on the line by wacking balls off on a bounce? Yet Selig and the gang won't even attempt to make a suitable skills competition for the All-Star Game? I just will never understand the authority that run sports.

9:03 PM -Lead off walk by Ruiz. Only the 1st walk for Beckett, but not exactly helping the mood. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaase just finish this inning.

9:07 PM - Yes folks, it's tied. Pair of 7's on the board after Beckett's 100th pitch of the night went bye-bye off the bat of Barajas. What did I do wrong to have this Red Sox season totally crash on me like this? Maybe God is punishing me for the Brett Favre cracks I've been making recently. Final line: 5 1/3 IP, 9 H, 7 ER, 1 BB, 4 K and 3 bombs allowed. Only threw 1 shutout inning tonight. Might have to buy a #4 Vikings jersey to fix a few things karmically.

9:14 PM - Still waiting......................and strike 3 is called. Delcarmen fans 2, but the damage is done. Can't do anything right lately. We score 7 with our ace on the mound and he can't even get us to the 6th. And just to think, I had high hopes for this series as Beckett and Lester were pitching in this series. This game has now achieved "MUST WIN FOR MORALE" status in capital letters.

9:20 PM - Reality is setting in as the Red Sox looked absolutely pathetic against Casey Janssen in the 7th. Thinking that I rather would have a needle go through both of my eyes right now than to watch this team. Possibly both of my eyes and my ankles.

9:26 PM - Okajima completes the 1st 1-2-3 inning of the game for Sox pitching tonight. Really hoping we didn't empty out in the run department. Big Papi leading off the next frame.

9:29 PM - Papi walks on 4 pitches to lead off the 8th. Now heading to the dark cellar of the Boston lineup, which has been my beer timer lately.

9:33 PM - Green plugged away and gets a base hit on the 8th pitch. Sac bunt in effect with Gonzo?

9:35 PM - HE THROWS IT AWAY!!! Janssen totally misplayed that ball and threw it away in a panic, putting the Red Sox back on top 8-7. Can't argue when the other team helps you manufacture a run. Time to open this game up again. I'm a wee bit scared of the prospect of Papelbon coming in the game, although my Bubba Gump Shrimpz need a save.

9:39 PM - 3 RBIs for Ellsbury today after that sac fly. Put a 9 on the board next to Boston! I think I just let out something that resembled a breath.

9:43 PM - Go V-Mart! Go V-Mart! Go V-Mart! 2 out double from Slick Vic to make it 10-7. Even the gravity of a larger planet can't pull my smile down right now. Sensing that Tek's neck is hurting more.

9:48 PM - Inning done, damage done. This is the first game we've scored double digits since that 18-10 Orioles game on the 2nd, and only our 3rd time accomplishing this feat since July 1st. This definitely ain't your daddy's Red Sox.

9:55 PM - After Bard got two quick outs, he proceeds to allow 2 quick hits. The 2 out situation hasn't been his niche lately. In comes Jonathan Papelbon (I think I just blacked out temporarily). Need this inning for my fantasy team, because I just found out that Lincecum threw a dud tonight.

10:00 PM - Papelbon walks the 1st hitter he faces to create a bases loaded situation, 2 out situation. My sanity will be going in T- 20 seconds.

10:01 PM - Sanity is officially gone! Scutaro hits an opposite field single to make it a 10-9 ballgame. Feel hungover now and I haven't had a drink for 2 days. Welcome to the 2009 Red Sox Experience!

10:05 PM - Another walk thrown by Papelbon. Taking out some frustrations on a Dr. Pepper decorative pillow right now. Might be too tired to type anything else afterward. You know, after my expletive-laden sparring session.

10:07 PM - OOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGG! Pop fly to the warning track by Lind ends the inning. 15 pitches just to get that 1 out while throwing only 5 strikes. And he still has a whole inning to go. That's just Papelbon being Papelbon this year. I urgently need a Corona with lime. Make it 6.

10:09 PM - Frank Viola is now going off on a tangent on Snider's rosy cheeks. My mom came in just baffled. That combined with our potential to blow another lead, she knew that it was her cue to go to bed. Again, the 2009 Red Sox Experience at its finest.

10:13 PM - Bay walks to lead off the inning. .000135 seconds later, I felt the energy of a whole fanbase willing him to home plate.

10:18 PM - Jason Frasor throws a wild one, allowing Bay to get to second. Is the Nation's telekinesis actually working? Guess they're walking Papi here with 1st base open. Hoping for Nick Green to provide some insurance here. Something tells me I'm wishing for too much.

10:22 PM - Like I said. Double play kills a 9th inning opportunity to pad a lead that is hanging on the strings of my disintegrating Red Sox cap. Might have to walk to the kitchen to get a paper bag for this inning coming up, this time to possibly put over my head like the Lions fans did last year.

10:25 PM - Overbay singles to start of the 9th. Might have to make that a plastic bag. Sox masher Wells now coming in the box.

10:26 PM - Ooooooooooooooooooh. Wells hits a shot just short of the warning track on a first pitch fastball. 1 down. I can't take this anymore.

10:32 PM - Towering fly ball hit by Ruiz that found Bay's glove. 2 down, but even their outs are Ruthian. One more and I make it out of this alive.

10:34 PM - 3rd walk recorded by Papelbon. Barajas now coming up. I think I might actually know how blood boiling feels like. I think my brain is boiling, too.

10:36 PM - YYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!! I'm alive.....I mean, we won this game! Another 33 pitch roller coaster save by Jonathan Papelbon As per usual, the Sox didn't make this an easy affair, as we had leads of various lengths with our ace, our best relievers and our closer on the mound. Tonight's win becomes extremely gi-normous because it not only puts pressure on the Rangers, but it comes before Halladay's outing tomorrow night. We survived Beckett and Papelbon's disaster, but we can't afford an abundance of performances like the ones displayed tonight. Not while we have now become the chasers in the 2009 AL playoff race. The Buchholz-Halladay matchup will be intriguing, considering they both came off stellar outings. All in all, this could potentially be a turnaround series for the Sox if we can pull off 2 out of 3, for it can set us up for a huge opportunity to make up some ground in the AL East when the Yanks come to down this weekend. As much as the pitching matchups are making me tear up, I will be sending my 5-1 2009 spectator record to Fenway for at least 1 and possibly 2 games. Expect some sweet montages, because I know it's been way too long. On that note, I'm off to the oxygen tank!

Upsets And Just Simply Upset

Meet Korea's Rocky.
(espn.com)

Did a meteor just hit? Are the seas rising right now? Has Hazeltine burned to the ground? In the PGA Championship this past Sunday, Tiger lost for the first time after leading into the final round in a major. And the defeat was not to Phil, Paddy, or Sergio, but to 37 year old Korean born Y.E. Yang, who had won only one previous tour event. Can you say 300,000-volt shock appeal? Even though I was deflated when Tiger came up short for his 15th major and 5th Wannamaker, I was highly impressed with this kid....errr 37 year old unknown on the scene. Nevermind the fact that he was 110th in the world when this tournament started, he showed the poise of someone who had been playing for over 20 years, despite that this is only his 2nd year on the PGA tour. He laughed off near-misses on putts, almost as if he knew he was going to make that eagle on the 14th hole to stun the world. He let out small chuckles after some tough shots, just sensing he would nail that 2nd shot on 18 to all but seal victory. He had similar mental strength as a body builder has physical strength, which was actually Yang's childhood aspiration. That changed of course when he was 19 when he found that he had enough talent to make the big bucks playing the game of golf rather than teaching it. The most amazing thing is that this wasn't the only time that Mr. Yang held off Tiger. In the 2006 HBSC Championship in Shanghai, the Korean beat Tiger by two strokes, which may have been foreshadowing the grander moment that was to come. The question becomes, "Did Tiger choke"? Woods did shoot a 75 (3-over) in the final round and misread putts all afternoon, very un-Tigerlike in a major. But it wasn't exactly a bout of the Paddy Harrington yips that did him in this one. In fact, no one was consistently making putts on the Hazeltine greens all weekend. I believe in the end, Tiger simply, and finally got slayed by an opponent who had maintained enough mental moxie to carry through 72 holes in a major event. Yes, I have had enough of defeat from my favorites lately. But at least in this occasion, there is a great story to be told and the game of golf will only be better for it. For one, I'm crazy about clutch performances, and Yang's performance on that final round against possibly the all-time great in the sport was definitely worth marveling. Plus in a continent that is ready to embrace the game (And Koreans seem to dominate the women's game already), this David-Goliath victory may be the straw that stirs the Sprite in terms of the emergence of golf's popularity in the Asian continent. More than I can say for what I'm gonna talk about next.

My feelings exactly.
(boston.com)

Well, where do I begin here? Hell, I don't even want to start anywhere in discussing this recent blowup of season, but the writing is appearing clearer on the wall by every week's end. After Sunday afternoon's loss in Texas, the Sox are 12-17 since the break, including an anti-whopping 4-12 against winning teams since the All-Star break. The playoffs have definitely become less of a certainty as the Sox are now a half-game back in the AL Wild Card behind those surging Rangers, all while the Yanks have done everything but popped the cork with their 7.5 game lead in the East. Hell, we were a clutch V-Mart double away from getting swept outright this weekend in Arlington. It's getting to the point that whenever Beckett or Lester don't pitch, I'd rather watch some 1940's boxing re-run on ESPN classic, or struggle through an entire episode of Party of Five (hurts just saying) than to watch the other three in the rotation. Granted, Buchholz pulled another rabbit out with a 7 IP, 1 ER performance against the Tigers on Thursday. However, our anemic offense once again showed their prowess of futility and couldn't muster more than 4 hits of Detroit ace Justin Verlander, which is a definitely a task but still mighty frustrating. Penny is painfully inconsistent, kind of like getting your leg sawed off, at the knee, with all the tendons and ligaments and all that jazz. To top his 5.22 ERA, 27 out of 29 baserunners have been successful in stealing off of him. I think whenever Penny and 'Tek are the battery, they should just put starting blocks on each base for the runners just to make it more exciting and appropriate. Tazawa is exciting and will probably have a decent future, however he is being forced to learn how to pitch in the major league level in the scorching fire of a division...ummmm...Wild Card race due to ineptitude and injury. There is no way you can bank on a young kid who pitched in the Japanese Industrial League last year to save your team from the brink of mediocrity, although it doesn't stop all of us Sox fans from trying. It appears as if the weight of expectations are now placed on the calf of Wakefield and the shoulder of Matsuzaka to save this once "Mariana Trench"-deep rotation. The return of Alex Gonzalez and the imminent return of Paul Byrd doesn't exactly fill me with feelings of warm and fuzzy nostalgia. All of this, and I just found out that this weekend's Yankees series will start off with Penny and Tazawa. For the sake of my right hand, I'll stop ranting before I punch a hole through my window. Happy Monday everyone!

Before I Peace: Deadline Doom

(ejmabaseball.com)

It goes without saying that the "Natinals" need some kind of buzzworthy player on their club that will sell uniforms with any form of spelling in the front of them. Enter one of the most highly touted prospects in a long time, Stephen Strasburg, who tore up the college circuit at San Diego State with 133 Ks in 97 1/3 innings and even garnered a 23 K performance against Utah! As the midnight deadline approaches, the Nats have offered the righty phenom a record $17 million dollar contract with incentives that would make it $20 million. Combined, that is almost double what Mark Prior received when he was drafted. I'm probably not the only guy who has said that no salary would be substantial if I played for the Nats. But if I were the young kid, I would take it and giggle happily for this may literally be a steal (A Steve Miller song comes to mind). As this Thomas Boswell article in the Washington Post details early on, prospect pitchers drafted this high don't exactly save the world, yet the baseball world doesn't exactly learn. Forget the WebMD Mark Prior injury report, only one pitcher taken in the top 18 has won 200 games, and nobody in the top 4 has won a Cy Young. If you reject this deal Mr. Strasburg, it wouldn't exactly start off your reputation on a high note, considering you are already affiliated with El Diablo...ehemm...Scott Boras. Looking for a better offer from a potentially better locale perhaps? Well, it looks like the Nats are on their way to being on top of the draft board next season as well, so you are not doing yourself any favors by playing hardball on the negotiating table this year. I'm going out on a limb here, but I don't think your boyhood dream was to throw 102-MPH fastballs for the Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters.

Mochaman's Fantasy Baseball Report
- Bubba Gump Shrimpz - 145-100-21 (2nd, Steroid Freaks' Anonymous, 7 GB)
Got the big week I needed, but only gained a half game. Pitching survived despite horrible weeks from my relievers (Papelbon, Cordero, Nuñez). Super excited that Dan Haren is back, and with Tim Lincecum, should propel my team to future success. Must stay within striking distance in order to force a heavyweight battle between me and my buddy P-Mac for the division crown. Once again livin' on the edge On Cloud 10!

- Mocha Sox - 83-100-7 (10th, Yahoo Public 38095, 26.5 GB)
Looks like Mocha Magic hit another road block. Pitching wasn't helped out by Wandy Rodriguez's poor outing. Praying for Justin Upton to come back and liven up this offense. Only 8.5 GB of playoff contention with 3 weeks left, but time is going to run out faster with this inconsistent play (Kinda' like another Sox team I know.).

- Firehawks - 84-94-12 (8th, Yahoo Public 162279, 26.5 GB)
Another series won for the 'Hawks. The team offense got a boost from the resurgence of both Bay and Tulowitzki. However, it was the Beckett/Lester led pitching staff that carried the team to a 7-3 series victory. 10 GB away from creeping out the consolation bracket with only a few matchups left. Needless to say, coming up huge this week is somewhat important.

Eastern Runaway?

This guy is ready for some football.
(espn.com)

Even though it's not quite Spring Training, the arrival of the football season has me bubbling with anticipation of another successful season from the team from Foxboro. As I watch Tom Brady's first gridiron appearance in almost a year, I can't help but to think of dominant run through the treacherous months of winter and a triumph in Miami this February. I'll be honest, I will probably turn this preseason game off my TV as soon as Brady and the rest of the starters rest up (which will probably be at the end of the 1st quarter). But in the same token, I do the same for baseball, too. Apparently, I don't see the positional battles as intriguing as others do. Maybe it's because I'm too busy getting squeamish whenever any of the important players dive awkwardly or get breathed on in the wrong way. The anticipation for the regular season in any sport is not just the hopes of the new campaign, but the glory of avoiding anybody's Achilles tendon blowing up in a Hall of Fame game. I already have been thinking about a division race that other than 1 team, is an old-fashioned straw drawing to pick the remaining spots. On a side note, I'm so delighted to hear that Michael Vick has signed with the Eagles. I'm thinking that the UFC should invest in the idea of a group fight between PETA and a bunch of battery-wielding Philly fans (Best. Ratings. Ever). I'd pay $100 dollars for that dog-eat-dog battle (What? Still too soon?). Anyway, after some agonizing research, I have completed my predictions for the AFC East. Prepared to have your mind blown away!

In order from 4th to 1st.....

Joey Porter

(bostonherald.com)

Miami Dolphins - Taming Of The Wildcat.
Did I begin with a shocker or did I begin with a shocker? Believe me, I witnessed the 38-13 smack down that the Dolphins laid on us last September. I felt as if I was watching one of those NFL Films reels from the 40's in HD color as the Fish tore us up with the Wildcat offense. However, I don't think that the luck will carry over into this season. The Wildcat is no secret weapon anymore as you can be sure every defensive coordinator has been studying the scheme for the entire spring and summer. And as we learn every year in this league, defense always overcomes. Last year, the Dolphins had one of the weakest schedules in the entire league. In the first ten weeks of this season, 9 out of those 10 teams Miami will face had a .500 record or above in 2008. Again, I will be waiting to see if Chad Pennington becomes the stellar QB everybody thinks he's going to be, and I'm not so sure he is going to be the predominant offensive force with Ronnie Brown in the backfield. The Joey Porter-led defense is not overwhelming, but will be formidable. But if you think the return of Jason Taylor brings in an added playmaker for the Dolphins defense, you are drinking the same Kool-Aid I was drinking with John Smoltz. Other than the recent boost of strength of schedule, the Dolphins will have to worry about their punt/kick return defense, which was downright atrocious last year. Unfortunately, I do not see a second straight playoff appearance from Sparano and the 'Phins in '09, as a smarter schedule will doom their chances.

Prediction: 7-9 (4th)
Key Player To Step Up: Ronnie Brown

Terrell Owens

(mikeblewittsports.files.wordpress.com)

Buffalo Bills - Will T.O. Bring A Show?
And you thought that a 25 inch blizzard would be the biggest storm to hit Buffalo this winter. The T.O. Era has arrived in Upstate New York, bringing boatloads more attention to a franchise that is looking for its first playoff appearance in 10 seasons. Even though he is 35, Owens still has the gifts of a top-tier receiver. Along with Lee Evans and Josh Reed, the Bills will employ a receiving corps next season that is only rivaled within their division by the Patriots. If you are still trying to predict the T.O. meltdown, remember that everything always goes well the 1st year in any T.O. Era. Plus with a 1 year deal, it gives him limited time to get into prima donna mode. He will catch his passes and even cry for his quarterback this year. It would have been next year that you would have looked for Trent Edwards to vacation with Lee Evans in Tijuana, and all hell would have broke lose. The expectations for young QB Trent Edwards have already heightened not only with the receivers at his disposal, but a backfield with Rhodes and Marshawn Lynch (after the suspension of course). The Bills' solid defense will potentially have a bolstered pass rush with with draftee Aaron Maybin. However just like the Jets and the Dolphins, the schedule doesn't do them too many favors. After starting off on the road against the Patriots, they face the Bucs, the Panthers, the Titans, the pesky Falcons and cap off the season against Peyton's Colts. While I believe that they won't make it to the playoffs for a 10th consecutive season, I still have their offense winning them a few games this year, thus pushing them out of the AFC East cellar.

Predection: 8-8 (3rd)

Key Player To Step Up: Trent Edwards

Mark Sanchez

(3putt.files.wordpress.com)

New York Jets - Favre-Free The Way To Be?
Out is Favre (woohoo!) and Mangini. In is defensive master Rex Ryan and USC standout Mark Sanchez. Ryan has already created some buzz by showing he is not going to back down to Belichick's Patriots, and for his dietary skills. Word on the street is indicating that Kellen Clemens will be taking snaps for the 2009 squad as the rookie takes in the New York atmosphere from the pine, but I hope we're not that naive to think that's official. While the Jets have one of the better offensive lines in the game, they are not really protecting much. The quarterback situation isn't exactly bona fide with a rookie and a 4-year backup duking it out for a spot. With the departure of Laveranues Coles, I don't see too many playmakers that are going to carry this team, and Jerricho Cotchery is no deal breaker. The schedule will present a bit of a challenge in the beginning of the season as they will face off against the Pats, Titans, Saints, Dolphins, and the newly-armed Bills team in 5 of the first 6 weeks. However with the addition of former Raven Bart Scott, the Jets should place a solid defense on the field to counter the offensive powerhouses they will encounter. But just like the Ravens, a solid defense will have to be the insulin of their gameplan if the Jets are going to go far. I'm being bold and predicting them to be the surprise team from the AFC to snag a postseason spot.

Prediction: 9-7 (2nd) (WILD CARD)
Key Player To Step Up: Whoever becomes quarterback.

Wes Welker

(patriots.com)

New England Patriots - Back To The Brady Boom.
Question: Who was the biggest player addition to the AFC East, and possibly the NFL? If you guessed Tom Brady, I applaud you for your outside-the-box thinking. All eyes will turn to Tom Brady and his patched up knee as he and his "com-Patriots" try to return to the playoffs after an 11-win season didn't do the trick in '08. I'm sure there will be challenges to come as Brady is returning to a division with exponentially more depth than two years ago when he and Moss were going 2000 Rams over everyone. Even though I still have questions about whether Lawrence Maroney can cut it as a premier back in the NFL, or whether Brady can quickly adapt to the heat of battle after being out a whole year, the trio of Moss, Welker, and Galloway make me forget those issues very quickly. The acquisitions of Derrick Burgess and Shawn Springs will complete a defense that should exceed expectations this year. As a result of having another talented roster, the Pats are also greeted with what could be considered a schedule that is slightly less tougher than their divisional counterparts, which contains a depleted Broncos team and is capped off with the Bills, Jaguars and Texans. After a year's vacation, expect the Pats to be working extra in 2009/10.

Prediction: 12-4 (1st) (AFC EAST CHAMPS)
Key Player To Step Up: Wes Welker

R.I.P. To A Music Pioneer

Les Paul (June 9, 1915 - Aug. 13, 2009)

(fromthevaultradio.org)

The Mex-Hex Continues

.5 out of 10 on the Shock Scale.

(espn.com)

Make that 0-23-1 in Mexico for the U.S. squad. Once again, my attention focused on the game on 'mun2' and whether the Americans could pull off a primetime victory, when the many eyes of a nation are fixed upon them in the midst of its recently found soccer lust. Once again, the Americans lost an early lead, capped off with a goal from Miguel Sabah in the 81st minute for the Mexican Green Machine. Granted, it was a game that the Mexicans needed a lot more than the Americans. While the U.S. squad have finished all their tough World Cup qualifier road matches still in 2nd place in the CONCACAF standings, Mexico desperately needed to pull off a victory in a congested leader board that has been ready to spit them out. But at the same time, it seemed as if the public was thinking of a a dominant performance for the Americans against El Tri. Maybe they didn't get the info concerning the less than stellar record the U.S. has obtained in Mexican soil. Maybe the public that get the info that this game was gonna be played at 7,200 feet above sea level. Or maybe the public didn't know that there were going to be over 100,000 crazy Mexican soccer fanatics screaming anything and everything imaginable to prevent the U.S. from achieving their first triumph south of the border. But for a brief moment, it appeared as if a Charlie Davies goal would drop the hex in Mexico. But 10 minutes later, an Israel Castro strike knotted up the game, cranking the crowd volume back to 11. It wasn't a poor performance by any means, and you can even say that the refs made a few "scandalous" calls on the pitch. But it looked as if the Americans were playing a little desperate after the equalizer, evidenced by the 3 yellow cards in the 1st half. And there must be a piece of the Bermuda Triangle in Estadio Azteca, because Landon Donovan just disappeared entirely. As expected as this loss was, I still don't have all the faith in the world in the U.S. squad making a splash in South Africa next year due to their gradual loss of intensity as the game goes on (Still have Brazil on the mind.). Whether it was smog-induced or not, the U.S. still leaves a lot to be desired in terms of closing out important games. Then and only then will I drink ESPN's Kool-Aid and pick the U.S. as one of the best international squads in the world. Now where can I find where to watch the Barcelona-Athletic Club Super Cup match on Sunday?

Mochaman's Fantasy Report: Moss at WR and Youk on D - Fense!!!!!

(espn.com)

(patriots.com)

After mulling it over for weeks, I have decided to create a second fantasy football team. The Boston Beersquad will try to jack up teams in the "Plax's Got a Gun" league this fall/winter. Never had too much success in fantasy football. So like the Killa Beavaz, this Beersquad is just another crap shoot. 3 weeks till draft day, so stay tuned!

Ouch! I Think A Piece Of Sky Hit Me

So much for the "high reward" part.
(espn.com)

Well, that was warped. I feel like one of Mike Tyson's opponents during the mid 80's, wondering if the beat down that just happened actually occurred. This locking myself in my room and listening to Coldplay-therapy isn't doing the trick either. This might be a tell tale sign that I might need to get more involved spiritually with God. Or maybe I should just pick up a drinking habit, which is frankly much easier and depending on the situation, a whole lot more fun! I knew before this humongously important set of games that we were potentially in trouble. The Yankees have been just firing on all cylinders and the Rays were starting to awake. Low and behold, the Sox got drained (again) by some Tampa theatrics. Then to the Bronx where we were outscored 25-8, while agonizing through a 31 2/3 inning scoreless stretch in which the bats were as cold as Ted Williams's corpse. The 4 gamer was a microcosm of those first 8 contests in that the Yanks beat us in every possible way, similar to the way the Sox triumphed seemingly so long ago. However unlike the previous 8, this series drastically shifted the power structure of not only the division race, but possibly displayed to the nation who has the gusto for a strong postseason run. For the first time, many experts around the country have used their erasers on their preseason prognostications. And it only seems to get worse. On top of the 6.5 games that the Sox are trailing by in the East and the Wild Card deadlock with the Rangers, Boston will return home, but will face the AL Central leading Tigers team, who have won 5 out of the last 6. Boston will then fly back over to Arlington, where they got swept just a few weeks ago, to face the Rangers. Considering that we are 10-18 against the AL West and with all the weaknesses I see on this club, you could only imagine how much I'm looking forward to the September 14th matchup with the Bills. The Sox are 8-14 since the break and have lost a combined 9.5 games in the standings to their pinstriped rivals. No Sox fan can't help but reminisce of that infamous 5 game series in August 2006 where they saw their team pull a TWA Flight #800, exposing their true lack of depth. I, like the rest, feel that this past series almost felt no different, possibly even worse. This week, they went 0-6 against the teams that they were supposed to stay competitive with at this point in the season. This past road trip (3-6) was a true display of how the Sox may be the weakest link in this year's AL East elite, especially when the only wins come against a 40-win Orioles team. The Sox now are like Britney Spears during her year-long meltdown in the fact that there has already been an obituary written for them, even if there is no presence of a death certificate. Like the world-famous pop star, they showed so much promise in the beginning, like as if they were never going to fall off that pedestal no matter who the competition was. But every glaring hole soon started to creep up to the surface. Our lack of a quality third starter, our non presence of a long reliever and our persistent black hole at shortstop are a few of many maladies. We have everything but the pregnant teenage sister going against us, although the Ortiz scandal doesn't exactly put these recent weeks in high regard. The fat lady hasn't sung yet, but she's humming "Taps" as we speak. And don't trip over that chunk of troposphere on the way out.

Evan Longoria = My Grim Reaper
(i2.cdn.turner.com)

Aaaaaaaaahhh yes, the series that I feared the most (well, until the recent Yankee series). Rewind to Tuesday where the Sox started this ill-fated week in St. Pete. The Lester-Garza matchup hadn't been successful for the Sox in recent contests, but it looked like our fortunes would turn. But as usual, 2 runs wasn't gonna be enough to hold up the fort. Enter, Evan Longoria, a.k.a. the personification of all my nightmares, who launched a game-tying bomb off the recent Sox wunderkind Daniel Bard. I was too distraught to even think about that fact that this wouldn't be the last test he would fail on this dreaded rivalry week. I was even more distraught when the Sox ended up on the wrong end of a 13-inning battle when guess who hit a two-run bomb to sink Saito and the Sox, with the first base bag in search of vacancy. The next game didn't bode so well either. Bradley Wayne Penny kept on being consistently inconsistent as he allowed 5 ER in 6 IP in a game that desperately needed an innings eater. In fact, Penny has only won two decisions with a 4.82 ERA since the 5th of June, while not posting a 7 inning start this entire season. On the other end, Game 7 hero David Price performed brilliantly, while being helped out by four long balls en route to a 6-4 victory. Once again, the series proved that the Rays can match up to Boston in any facet of the game. They ran the bases, they hit in clutch situations and they weren't scared of us in the slightest bit. They had the ability and swagger of those Big Red Machine teams of the 1970s, and they whooped us in similar fashion. And it was the usual suspects: Longoria, Garza, Peña, Crawford, Bartlett and now Pat the Bat is getting into the act. Plus I also question the use of the talented but obscenely green Bard in this 8th inning pressure cooker when Okajima has actually been the the primary guy for the Sox in that role. Unfortunately, the Longoria Show in Game 1 wouldn't be the only time I almost had my brain explode questioning this very decision. In the grand scheme of things, the Sox gave the sleeping giant Rays the caffeine they needed to help them rumble back into contention. The last thing the Sox needed to do was to bring another team back into the race, especially before going into New York in the middle of a free fall.

Does Kate Hudson count as a PED?
(espn.com)

The Smoltz-Chamberlain matchup didn't look pretty at all on paper, and ended up being uglier when it was played out. Smoltz allowed 8 ER in 3 1/3 innings, giving him a head start to find a proper retirement home. It was a beat down that only Muhammad Ali could appreciate, and did. I painfully admit and I'm deeply ashamed that I was not only on the Smoltz bandwagon, but I was driving it while drinking the spiked Kool-Aid. But hey, it's sometimes better to jump off bloodied than to burn in the flames. And is it just me, or does Billy Traber have the funkiest windup for a batting practice pitcher? You know the season is taking a turn for the Susan Boyle when Billy Traber becomes your saving grace for the bullpen. In Game 2 (a.k.a., the most important game of the series), the Beckett/Burnett duel was finally worth the billing as both pitchers kept the bats silent. In fact, it was a trend that the relievers continued, until Alex Rodriguez* took a hanging Tazawa breaking ball over the left centerfield wall, all as I pleaded for those 5+ hours of my life back. Once again, the Sox were on the wrong end of an ESPN Classic game that I will always surf over. I have to give credit to Clay Buchholz, who didn't wiz himself in the Saturday afternoon game and pitched an admirable game. However, the offense was still in Cancun somewhere, as the Sox could muster only 4 hits off Cheeseburger Cheeseburger Sabathia and crew. In the final game, Sox Ace 1b Jon Lester kept the team in the game long enough to combat an A-Rod* homer and to allow V-Mart to rocket the team to a 2-1 lead. But the lack of depth would once again turn around to snatch defeat in the jaws of victory. Again the victim was the young Danny Bard, who allowed back-to-back homers with 2 outs to former Sox Johnny Damon and the almost-future Sox first baseman Mark Teixeira ($180 million looks like a bargain now, huh Henry?), preventing the Sox not only of a win in the series, but even having a single lead after a completed inning. For a Sox team with seemingly little to no magic this year, it was that proverbial final nail to a coffin painted in fools' gold. So what did this 4 game series prove? The depth that was once owned by the Red Sox during the 8-0 days has swiftly changed. We have a #5 hitter (Ortiz) who his hitting .219 and a .252 hitter in the cleanup spot (Bay) who is lumped in right now with all of our other injury-prone outfielders. But besides the Yanks having a .280 hitter for a #9 hitter, simply take a look at the game that went that grueling 15. While the Red Sox may have a better bullpen in the realm of statistical analysis, the Yankees have the tool of endurance on their side. While Alfredo Aceves and Brian Bruney cruised through five scoreless innings, the Sox utilized five different pitchers in that same span (Miss Masterson yet?) forcing us to have to debut Junichi Tazawa in a life or death situation in the middle of a division race in August. It wasn't so much the long-game defeats that killed us, but it was the lack of pitchers that could go the distance. In the end, our pitching depth was as much of a myth as the flight of Icarus, and unfortunately the Sox's season is following a similar trajectory path to fatality.

Foxboro, here I come!
(patriots.com)

While one local team is in a Tom Petty-style free fall, the eyes of New Englanders slowly turn over to Foxboro, MA where the Patriots look to surge back into the playoffs after being denied entry despite an 11 win season. This Thursday, the Pats will work out some of their preseason kinks against McNabb's Eagles. This is the 1st time on Cloud 10 that I have dedicated any significant time to in writing about the local football squad. But to be honest, I do not have much Patriots news to even react that boldly on. Wilfork and the higher-ups are discussing extension (sign him!), DE/OLB Derrick Burgess is the most recent addition (helps diversify the pass rush a bit) and Tom Brady got a cake to the face while most importantly maintaining every ligament in that left knee. All while the Pats stand as Vegas's preseason favorite to win Super Bowl XLIV, even over the current world champion Steelers. The only major story line for me seems to be whether Tom Brady can pull off a solid season after a whole year with no contact. After all, Peyton Manning had a shaky 3-4 start after his left knee infection, all before pulling off a 9 game win streak to close the season en fuego. Offense however, isn't my main concern. With playmakers like Moss, Welker, Galloway and Taylor, the team will not have trouble racking up the points. The defense, captained by the 36 year old Tedy Bruschi, has an interesting blend of experience and talent. Acquisitions like Shawn Springs and Derrick Burgess may not blow people away, but at the same time the moves allowed the Patriots to construct a complete team that shoud make a run past New Year's. Other than Brady Watch, the buzz has been at a standstill at Patriots training camp. But believe me, the doldrums of NFL training camp has been the Pepto-Bismol for my raging mind this past week. Goes to show that sometimes no news is the best news you can receive.

Mochaman's Fantasy Baseball Report

- Bubba Gump Shrimpz - 136-97-19 (2nd, Steroid Freaks' Anonymous, 7.5 GB)
Apparently the Shrimpz have loved living on the edge lately. Another close victory to avenge a loss early in the season, which still places me in striking distance to take back the top spot. Survived two subpar Dan Haren starts, who has had an un-Haren like 4.94 ERA since the break. Offense wasn't helped out by the fact that the other team had Carl Crawford plus 3 Yankees battling the sinking Red Sox this week. With some lackadaisical showings the past few weeks, I need a strong week to make a statement that I'm still in it to win it.

- Mocha Sox - 80-93-7 (9th, Yahoo Public 38095, 21.5 GB)
It would be an understatement to say that I came up small. Followed up a 10-0 performance last week with a 1-9 against the league leader, which needless to say was like a kick to J.D. Drew's groin. Now go from one of the threats of the league to being threatened to a cellar re-entrance. Other than Halladay and Wandy Rodriguez, the pitching left a lot more to be desired while the hitting has been stunted with the Justin Upton DL stint. Need a solid week against the team directly below me, or it could be curtains to a Mocha Magic Cinderella run.

- Firehawks - 77-91-12 (9th, Yahoo Public 162279, 25.5 GB)
Have lost 4 out of the last 6 series, including another horrible offensive display. Like the Mochas, the 'Hawks are facing the 10th place squad in hopes to not be buried in fantasy obscurity for '09. Might have to pull the trigger on a Beckett or Lester deal before the Aug. 16th deadline to revitalize the offense that has been as stale as an MRE. Only 10 GB out of playoff contention with 4 matchups to go. Three of those matchups are against all the teams currently behind me, so I still have the postseason in mind for my pyro-avian club.

Nothin' Wrong With A Little Experimentation: F.C. Barcelona - Seattle Sounders In 1st Soccer Gamecast

We're living on the edge here at Cloud 10! I decided to try out this whole gamecast thing with soccer as Spanish League champs F.C. Barcelona battle the Seattle Sounders of the MLS at Qwest Field. I figure it would help me get more adapted to soccer if I watch the match with the same focus and intensity as I do with a baseball game, even if it is only preseason. Seeing world-class players like Messi, Henry, and Xavi in these stateside contests only boosts my interest as the games get closer to counting. Besides, after another subpar performance by guess who, I have to find some other diversion to get my mind off possibly being a third place club. The worst part of it all is Smoltz is starting the series at the Jack in the Bronx against all those left-handers, but I'll stop myself before I go Lou Ferrigno. Readers take warning, this is probably the biggest experiment I have done on this blog, and this soccer gamecast has an equal chance of being a Gigli as much as it can be a Dark Knight. But hey, at least I'm not actually blowing up anything. Better to do this now than to lay a goose egg in a Champions League match. Visca El Barça!


10:38 PM - Wow! Good to see Celtics legend Bill Russell in the house, especially in a stadium of green in Seattle. Also saw a graphic of some of the preseason attendance figures since the middle of July. 80,000? 90,000? Let's just say soccer fans take their preseason a little bit more seriously. By the way, 63,000 on hand tonight in the Field called Qwest, which probably challenges the figures of last year's Seahawks season.

10:42 PM - Looks like Barça is sporting the sherbet colored tops tonight. I don't think there is any uniform in baseball, or in any other sport, that makes me crave frozen yogurt quite like these ones.

10:44 PM - The Sounders had a solid chance, but finished with weak strike. This was immediately followed by a break by Messi in the box, but Barça couldn't capitalize. Noticing that soccer players probably have on average the best hair of any athletes in the world. It's just flowing. This is why Rogaine should plaster their name on a set of jerseys. It just makes complete marketing sense.

10:47 PM - Messi draws a foul just outside the box. It just looked like the Seattle defenders didn't watch any of La Liga last season and didn't expect him to make a run for it. Solid free kick opportunity coming up.

10:48 PM - Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand that was two feet over the bar. Have a feeling though that Messi will create more opportunities. And he's only 22? Ronaldo, be ready to be dethroned!

10:50 PM - Surprisingly a lot of Sounders fans, considering there were more Barça fans in Pasadena last weekend than Galaxy fans. Although I'm not getting the "This Side Up" signs. Is this soccer lingo like the "Juiced Up" signs in baseball games? Somebody help me out!

10:51 PM - Tough attempt at a bicycle kick for Thierry Henry. Has an uncanny resemblance to Vin Diesel. Really should try being a body double if they do another XXX remake. Speaking of needing some Rogaine.....

10:53 PM - Messi and the gang are schooling the Seattle defense once again. However, no conversion after the defenders made a stand on the last moment, forcing a weak cross to Henry. Barça already smelling blood, just in time for 'Shark Week'.

10:56 PM - First corner of the day being taken by Seattle. Immediately falls short. Messi gets another opportunity to help Barcelona break out, but a nice save by Keller. He could easily be like Satchel Paige and just call off the rest of the players off the pitch and play himself.

11:00 PM - Almost a Buckneresque blunder by Barça keeper Pinto as he passes right to a charging Seattle forward. Luckily, the shot misses by a half-foot. Now I see how goalies separate themselves in this sport.

11:01 PM - YEEEEEEEEESSSSS! Soon after the missed opportunity, Leo Messi strikes one home from behind the box and puts Barça on the board with a 21st minute goal. 1-0 for the sherbet tops! #45 Ultimate Rule of Sports: You can't give Adrian Peterson, LeBron, Ray Allen or Leo Messi any space. They're just that good.

11:05 PM - Messi almost capitalizes on yet ANOTHER opportunity. Is this guy really human? They should just put mannequins in the box. because it will basically yield the same results. ESPN now does a shot of Sounders fans bouncing up and down. Somehow doesn't have the look of Old Trafford, but not bad for America.

11:11 PM - The young striker Bojan gets tripped up near the box, but no call is made. 30 seconds later, Busquets receives a yellow near the middle of the pitch. I may be biased, but I have a different view on the severity of these fouls. At least we're not seeing Flop-o-palooza tonight.

11:13 PM - Dani Alves has his "It's On" face directed toward Ljungberg. Looks like somebody might get all Prince Fielder in a few minutes. All I can say is this is nothing like the Mayor's Cup in Fort Myers. Not even close. Soccer easily has the best preseason of any sport. Imagine 80,000 at a Sox-Pirates game on a March afternoon in Florida with fans waving colored towels.

11:15 PM - Uh oh! I guess he is human after all. Seeing Leo roll on the ground is not good. Then again, soccer players get down and up so quickly from seemingly painful blows. Voodoo must be in the soccer physician booklet. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnd voila!

11:17 PM - DAMN! Bojan caught offside. I have to say, that it's the only rule that really slows soccer down, but it's legitimate. Sometimes disputable, but legit. Also liking no commercial breaks after every play.

11:19 PM - NOOOOOO! Pass to a wide open Messi is followed with a little squib kick that taps off the right post. This game could easily be 6-0, but a dominant performance by Barça so far. This feels like it would probably be a 24-3 advantage in American football.

11:21 PM - MESSI SCORES AGAIN!!!! And set up by the magical Xavi. Unbelievable cross and goal near the net on the 40th minute. Way to be primetime! I'm guessing he's gonna be about 80% of the highlight reel for this game, and he will probably only play this half!

11:24 PM - PHEW! Fredy Montero of Seattle doesn't capitalize on a pass from Zakuani. Probably got all confused that he didn't see any sherbet tops in front of him and freaked out. Barça is totally outclassing this Seattle team, and this is one of the best that the MLS can provide.

11:26 PM - OH MAN! Messi makes a beautiful pass and almost sets up Bojan goal if it wasn't for some last second defensive effort by the Sounders. And they call Albert Pujols "The Machine"? Only 1 minute of extra time.

11:28 PM - First half has officially ended. Seeing more why Messi is the considered by many the best player in the world. Evidence of how Barça produces some of the finest players through their system. What a show!

11:30 PM - Just saw a commercial for next year's World Cup, provoking excitement. Then I saw that KGB commercial where the guy loses a bet with his buddy and has to wear the chick's KGB skimpy outfit, leaving the girl with only a swimsuit. Surprisingly not that bad looking. Like ketchup is to food, bikinis are to commercials with sneaky-hot redheads.

11:44 PM - Barça has the advantage in shots taken by a tally of 16 to 3 after the 1st half. Ouch! Seeing why MLS isn't quite catching on in the States. What would be the equivalent score in a hockey game? 8-1? 11-1? Getting ready for the 2nd half.

11:52 PM - Looking like a more defensive half right now. Just found out that Messi is only 5'7''. I love guys that are superstars in my height group. Lumps him right in there with the Pedroias and the Welkers. Huge respect!

11:56 PM - Just have to mention that it has been good to watch a sporting event and haven't had to hear any cowbell for one minute of it. Or those horns that sound like a swarm of killer bees is lurking over the arena. I guess I'll have to put the mental institution on hold.

12:01 AM - YES! Going off on a tangent here. Just found ot that the A's went ahead of the Rangers, which would help the Sox in the AL Wild Card if they pull through. Hate being excited about that, but I think for the 2nd year in a row there will be another Home Run Derby in the Bronx tomorrow with Smoltzy on the mound (Feelin' a little Ferrigno. Must stop.).

12:04 AM - After seeing some of the chants of the Seattle crowd, I still can't take a totally animated American MLS soccer crowd seriously. I just cant. It's just a little weird. It just seems like the ownership invited a religious cult that happened to dress in the team's colors and paid them to do one of their sermons in the stands. Just noticing ESPN putting up Real Madrid's big signings. Also can't take a player named Kaká seriously.

12:10 AM - Offense picking up a little from both sides, including chances by Barcelona's Pedro and Gudjohnsen. Sensing that even the Seattle crowd already misses Messi running up and down their defenders.

12:13 AM - Guess who's in the owner's box? None other than Price is Right host Drew Carey, who is apparently part-owner of the Sounders. I would have expected him to own a team in his native Cleveland. His team might need to do a little improv with Wayne Brady to pull off a miracle here.

12:14 AM - GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!! The Sounders had no chance as Suarez was set up by a beautiful cross from Pedro Rodriguez. 3-0 Barça in the 75th minute. Unless a 21 year old Pelé is suiting up for Seattle, I think we can say game over.

12:20 AM - 2nd booking of the night, this time called on Seattle's Fucito on the 84th minute. A little late to be making rough challenges don't you think?

12:24 AM- 66,848 fans have officially shown up at the Field called Qwest, making it the largest crowd in Seattle soccer history. What a difference an elite European team can make. However, I am impressed that this is a first year MLS team, and that they are on the verge of making it to the playoffs. For the other professional leagues there would have been an investigation had one of their expansion franchises played well enough for even third place.

12:28 AM - GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! Another goal, this time scored by Pedro himself as he capitalizes off a keeper's rebound. With a 4-0 lead in the 89th minute, I really think this one is truly over. Maybe Drew Carey will have contestants on the show be defenders for the Sounders after this debacle. Another fruit in the talented Barça youth pool comes through. 2 minutes of extra time.

12:32 AM - Game over! The Sherbet Army wins the showcase in dominating fashion. And the game finished in the time it would take 2 innings of a Yankees-Red Sox playoff game. Once again, Barça showed that they are the class of European football. Makes me more impatient in waiting for the season opener against Sporting Gijón in a couple of weeks. Well, I must say, doing a soccer gamecast is much more difficult because the ball is always moving and their is potential that something crazy could happen after one missed dribble. No constant timeouts in the last 2 minutes or stepping out of the box to distract the pitcher, which leaves little time to type any witticisms. My biggest hope is that I didn't pull off a Ben Affleck performance on this one. Well, off to one of my Seinfeld binges before bed time! Morning folks!

Ray Day, Ray Day: Sox - Rays Gamecast

I'm thankful that the Victor Martinez era is off to a great start for the Red Sox (62-42) and their Nation. But gone are the Orioles, Royals and A's as the Sox head into an intense rivalry week, which includes a short two game series versus the Usain Boltian Rays (58-48) and a 4 gamer against the pinstripers at New York. It doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out that this week's road trip is the most important stretch of games this year for the Beantowners, considering that they are facing the two elites that stand in the way of a divisional crown. There are a combined 18 games remaining with the Yanks and Rays, and each game will be more important than the next as the Sox will try not to be the odd team out in this divisional version of musical chairs. The Sox begin the week virtually tied with the Yankees and are five games up on the defending AL champion Rays. However, we are going to a venue (Tropicana Field) in which we've won only 2 out of our last 14. We have an exciting Game 7 rematch upcoming as Jon Lester (9-7) will take the hill for the Sox in St. Pete as he looks for his first win since September of last year against the Rays as well as to correct a trend of recent poor performances against the fishy foes (1-4, 29 2/3 IP, 6.38 ERA, 1.55 WHIP in last 5 starts including playoffs vs. Rays). On the other side of the coin, we have Matt Garza (7-8), who just seems to save his best whenever Red Sox are in front of him (4-0, 38 2/3 IP, 2.10 ERA, 31 Ks, 1.09 WHIP in last 6 starts including playoffs vs. Sox). The key in this short set of matchups is to keep any and every Ray off the basepaths, considering what Mazz pointed out that we are facing the team with the most steals in the bigs. Meanwhile, the Sox have been the least effective against thefts. In my opinion, 'Tek has as much of a chance in throwing out Carl Crawford as Chewbacca winning the Miss America pageant. So it's imperative that we keep the bases as clean as possible. In the grand scheme of things, we begin the true first day of the rest of the season at the Trop. And yes, I'm hoping for less cowbell.

7:11 PM - Longoria drops a foul pop-up. With Longoria's trend against us, it will probably be his only mistake of the day. Cowbell already getting annoying and it's like the 4th minute of the game.

7:12 PM - Zobrist makes a solid play up the middle to throw out the speedy Ellsbury. He has been nuts on my fantasy team this year. I'm thinkin' "Zo-Beast" for a nickname. Says it all right there. Thoughts? All suggestions will be listened to.

7:16 PM - Here comes Victor Martinez. Baltimore wasn't bad, but it would be a great breakout week for him to come through in rivalry weekend. Also hear from Orsillo that he kills Rays pitching. I wish that you can see the smile on my face.

7:18 PM - Matty Garza is out of the 1st inning. Have to get to him before he gets all cool-headed and starts throwing his curveball like it's out of style. Mission: Get Garza back to his iPod as soon as possible. Also would be great to have him throw a Gatorade cooler or two. Due to his intensity, he's always been my candidate to go 'Zambrano' and become the Sportscenter blowup of the year (Crossing my fingers).

7:23 PM - Crap! Crawford slaps a single. Having flashbacks of his 6 stolen base performance early in the season. Just found out he has more stolen bases than 4 MLB teams this year. Not exactly following the game plan here.

7:24 PM - V-Mart just let a foul pop-up play him. Welcome to playing in a dome. Why doesn't Tampa have one of those retractable domes. I mean, it's only 90 over there today. Can't give Longoria second chances.

7:26 PM - Longoria strikes out. Sweet breaking ball thrown by Lester. "Zo-Beast" steps to the plate.

7:27 PM - In a not so surprising news flash, Crawford steals another bag, his 50th of the year. Still waiting for Chewbacca to accept the Miss America Pageant title so Varitek can throw somebody out.

7:28 PM - On consecutive pitches, Crawford steals another bag. Didn't know that Rickey Henderson was still playing. 'Tek didn't even think of throwing, which might have prevented him from scoring. Maybe that's what they mean by he calls a good game. Mine as well dust off home for him.

7:29 PM - "Zo-Beast" walks, putting men in the corners. Cowbell just doesn't sound good with Flo Rida on the speakers, just saying. Can Lester ever beat this team again?

7:33 PM - Lester strikes out the sneaky-dangerous Willy Aybar to strike out the side and escapes some damage in the process. Hoping for the bats to plate a few runs this half-inning.

7:37 PM - The red-hot Yoooooooouk homers! Upton ain't getting this one. Too bad Garza has no earplugs to throw in frustration, but still clutch to score first. Anticipating him throwing at someone in the near future. Another Sox-Rays fight perhaps?

7:39 PM - Ortiz hits a potential catwalk shot to right, but old friend Gabe Kapler comes up with it. Stupid cowbells starting up again = my brain is about to explode.

7:44 PM - G.G. (Glass Groin) Drew strikes out on a curveball. Get the infirmary ready, I may have heard something pop excessively. Oh wait, it's the irritating cowbells at the Trop. 2 down.

7:46 PM - 'Tek lines out to "Flash" Crawford to end the inning. It's sad when the only recent positive credentials that an announcer can say about you as a player is that you were in the Little League World Series. Can we say he's past the twilight of his career?

7:49 PM - Learning from my girl Heidi Watney that Dice-K has thrown from 120 feet today, and a side session may follow. Can't believe that I'm psyched by this news. But if you see the probable matchups for the next 2 games, you would completely understand.

7:55 PM - Lester throws a clean inning in the bottom of the 2nd. Maybe silence is the best sound. Still have a long way to go before these palpitations go away.

8:00 PM - Anticipation, over. Nick Green gets plunked on the knee. Garza most likely didn't do it on purpose, but somehow knew it was coming eventually. Still waiting for that meltdown, although history tells me it won't happen against us.

8:05 PM -Grounder in the hole eats up Bartlett, resulting in a Pedroia base hit with two down. Great opportunity here with 2 on base. C'mon V-Mart! Make me a prouder man that we got you!

8:06 PM - The Garza Groove Meter is building up as Martinez is retired on a weak pop-up to right. Can't let these chances get away, for we may never get them again (having awful flashbacks of last year's Game 7).

8:10 PM - Bartlett gets a base hit to the opposite field with 1 out. He's just so stingy beyond belief. Drives me a crazy like the incessant noise of a ringing cowbell. Must have an .800 batting average against us along with Longoria and Crawford. Speaking of the devil......

8:15 PM - After a lengthy at bat, Crawford pops out to foul territory in left field. It doesn't get easier as homer threat and Desperate Houseray Evan Longoria steps between the lines. 2 down.

8:19 PM - Lester picks up his 5th K with the whiff of Longoria. Good to see him neutralized, although you never know when he will heat up. He has that Giambi appeal in that the remote is always beside just in case he hits that 450-foot bomb, and that doesn't go away after 2 hitless at bats in three innings.

8:23 PM - After a few close pitches, Youkilis walks to lead off the inning. I think I see an unhappy face coming from Mr. Garza. Hoping Papi hits a catwalk here to widen the gap (not in his teeth).

8:25 PM - What was that? Papi swings at a 58-foot slider, bringing back the "he's off his cycle" jokes all across the nation. G.G Drew steps in the box.

8:27 PM - Double play thwarted as a Bartlett throw skips off Peña's glove. The Glass One moves to 2nd with 2 down. How come I feel like it's a cloudy day all of a sudden? Oh yeah, Varitek is up.

8:30 PM - I don't think I have to say what just happened. If you heard some loud screaming, that wasn't me. That was my mom screaming at 'Tek in the other room. Walking the tightrope going into the bottom of the 4th.

8:38 PM - Lester now up to 7 Ks as he finishes off Peña to end the 4th inning. Not really helping the Bubba Gump Shrimpz here. But as I always say, reality team first. Absolutely neeeeeeeeeeeeeeed to get to Garza this inning.

8:45 PM - Garza breezes through his end of the 5th. Nervousness not exactly going away at this point. However, this Corona commercial with the blue water is putting me into a Zen-like trance. Reminds me that my dinner has been ready for an hour. Ummmmmm, after this inning!

8:52 PM - After retiring 7 in a row, Lester allows a single to a member of the '04 Free Drink Club, Gabe Kapler. The pesky Bartlett will now attempt to make my brain explode into ten thousand small pieces.

8:58 PM - Mission, complete. Bartlett walks on a questionable call, making Lester a weeeeeeeee bit more confused about the strike zone. Crawford steps up to threaten my life.

9:00 PM - Crawford hits a hard grounder on the 1st pitch to Youk, who takes it himself to third. Almost lost consciousness for a moment. On that note, time to get my food.

9:03 PM - WOOOOOOOHOOOO! Just came back in time to see the Pedroia homer. 2-0 Sox. I should get dinner every inning, or at least a strudel. Must be the cheesy potatoes (Yes! Avoided a Dan Quayle scenario).

9:06 PM - Carlos Peña makes a Web Gem on the dugout railing to retire Youkilis. Also gets those bells ringing again. This 2-0 lead is still too close to my liking. All those boos must mean Papi is up.

9:09 PM - The Big Man walks, giving G.G. Drew a chance to extend Garza's pitch count some more.

9:10 PM - Drew hits a towering pop-up, but it's only a long third out. Got some insurance there, but still not comfortable, considering Longoria leads off the next inning. Now must dive into the comfort food.

9:14 PM - STRIKE 3 ON LONGORIA! The Desperate Houseray gets the unwanted hat trick, while Lester receives his 9th strikeout on the night. I think I see fire coming off of his arm like in the NBA Jam video games.

9:19 PM - Another K for Lester. Make that another double-digit day for the lefty. Don't know if his day will continue, considering he has 109 pitches after 6 innings. His line right now: 6 IP, 3 H, 2 BB, 0 ER and 10 Ks.

9:23 PM - Little delay as home plate umpire Jerry Layne gets stuck on the arm by a Reddick foul ball. I wonder if it is a little karma for not giving Lester the outside corner tonight.

9:29 PM - Garza gets out of another inning unscathed. May be done for the day (or at least that's my hope). His line: 7 IP, 3 H, 2BB, 2 ER, and 6 Ks, making only 2 mistakes with those solo bombs. Found out the NBA season will start on my birthday as the Celts will play LeBron and his Cavs in the opener. Sweetness!

9:32 PM - Lester comes back, but immediately hits Aybar on the 1st pitch of the inning. I think "On Fire" mode is officially off. Promptly gets taken out by Tito. In comes the Oki-Doke.

9:36 PM - Upton singles to right. Here comes the Big Ray Machine. Still don't know why Francona didn't put the hard-throwing right-handed Bard in against the right-handed Upton. Not liking this one bit.

9:37 PM - DOUBLE PLAY! The defense was expecting the bunt, but I'll take it! Maddon's mystic wisdom bit him in the rear, considering Navarro is batting .224 on the season. Almost out of this.

9:40 PM - Looks like we'll see Bard in this inning as Okajima walks Kapler. Feel somewhat at ease. A .182 average against and a 2.01 ERA will do that to a fan.

9:43 PM - Well, I guess I'm getting brain surgery. Bartlett gets a base hit in the shortstop hole. Lead cut in half. Someone should remind me that I should do a jinx alert before I write anything like the excerpt above. Here comes Crawford (sigh).

9:45 PM - Sox get out of the inning on an extremely close play at 2nd base. I think I spit out a few peas on that play. Off to the 8th frame, ladies and gents. How many ways can I say, "another run please"?

9:49 PM - It's the Micro-Manage Bowl at the Trop as lefty Brian Shouse was in just to retire Ellsbury. Dan Wheeler is the next contestant to come ooooooooon dooooowwwwwwn (I miss the old "Price Is Right").

9:54 PM - An acrobatic play by Wheeler ends the top of the 8th. Im pleading for another run, especially if or when Papelbon comes in the game. Never though I would feel the way about Papelbon like I did about D-Lowe in '01.

9:56 PM - And what did I say about Longoria? Not a moment after the commercials, Longoria shames the young Bard by hitting a towering blast to center. Bad timing to give up your 1st homer of your major league career. All tied up at the Trop, and I'm feeling that some cheesy potatoes might be making a return.

10:00 PM - "Zo-Beast" walks. Slowly blacking out here as Aybar steps to the plate.

10:01 PM - Aybar lays a perfect bunt, followed by an errant Bard throw. Men on 2nd and 3rd after the ball gets stuck somewhere around the rightfield wall in foul territory. Could this be a break? NEEEEEEEEEEEEEED a strikeout here with Peña coming up.

10:06 PM - Another walk. All loaded up with the mighty B.J. Upton at the plate. How did I know that this game would get out of hand? Oh yeah, because it always does against the Rays! Long gone are those days when we just pounded them mercilessly. This just hurts so bad. I need a Vicodin or something

10:10 PM - Full count here to Upton, as he is probably sitting dead-red on a 98 MPH fastball (stop shaking, stop shaking, stop shaking).

10:11 PM - HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGE K FOR BARD!!!!!!! Still have a mess out there on the bases, with Manny Delcarmen coming out (GULP). Thank God that there are only short bridges in my town. Gas is way too expensive to drive to a taller one.

10:14 PM - GABE GROOOOOOOOOSS STRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIKES OUT!!!!! C'MON GUYS!!!! Would be clutch if we get out of this jam (knocking hard on my bed post now).

10:16 PM - YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! I'M STILL ALIVE (I think). Sox get out of the bases loaded, no out jam. Hope this momentum carries to our bats. I think we might need a little Jobu magic, or at least a sacrifice of a full KFC bucket.

10:21 PM - Wheeler is gone after getting Youk to ground out. Lefty J.P. Howell will now take over on the bump to battle Ortiz and Drew.

10:23 PM - Ortiz grounds right into the shift. 2 down with the cowbells ringing loudly. This is what hell must feel like.

10:24 PM - Drew lazily flies out to Longoria for the 3rd out. Trying desperately to find a silver lining here, but the Rays just find a way, especially in their house. A 1, 2, 3 inning could be good here, for it could prevent me from spontaneously combusting.

10:29 PM - Delcarmen promptly walks the leadoff batter. Hint: This usually never turns out well, especially late in games. To make things worse for my blood pressure, Crawford is up, who is 6 for 8 against Delcarmen for his career.

10:31 PM - PHHHHHHHEEEEEEW! Looked like Crawford went deep for a moment, but the ball stops right into the glove of Ellsbury about 10 feet short. Delcarmen out (phew), and Ramon Ramirez in. Also in is Evan Longoria. Crying might actually be the manly thing to do now.

10:34 PM - Well, the game is closer to over as Varitek fails to throw out another base stealer (Is this Groundhog Day?). Man on scoring position and less than 2 outs. Intentional walk is on for Longoria. Zo-Beast will step to the plate with the chance to become the hero for the night.

10:36 PM - DOOOOOOUBLLLLLLLLLLLLE PLAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! Sox out of another jam! On to some free baseball as we head into extras. Ladies and gents, I don't know if I'm gonna make it.

10:42 PM - After a 'Tek pop-up, the rookie Josh Reddick lines a double to make things interesting. Could we actually win this thing?

10:44 PM - Lowell in, and promptly walked intentionally by Howell to get to Ellsbury. Promptly taken out for Lowrie as a baserunner. 1st and 2nd with 1 out. Let's go, Jacobes!

10:45 PM - EVERYONE'S SAFE ON THE INFIELD SINGLE!!! Bases loaded and 1 out for Pedroia. I think Casey Kotchman may have sacrificed that chicken.

10:48 PM - Nothing kills a rally like a double play. Rays pull off the balancing act by doubling up Pedroia to end the inning. I'm considering washing my hands and putting them on my electric bug-zapping racket as opposed to watching this game. I'd get roughly the same results I think.

10:51 PM - Joe Dillon (Yeah, exactly) gets a base hit to begin the inning. Peña coming up to the plate (remote in hand).

10:53 PM - Peña hits a rocket double off the rightfield wall. 2nd and 3rd with nobody out. Really getting ready to put an L next to this game. We can't get out of that many jams, right?

10:57 PM - Upton walks. All loaded up for Gabe Gross. I just hate playing this team.

10:58 PM - 2-0 count. 2 balls closer to being 1.5 games back as I just found out the Yanks just beat Halladay. Wow.

10:58 PM - Shallow pop-up hit by Gross. 1 out and yet ANOTHER chance to get out of a mess.

11:00 PM - ANOTHER POP-UP!!! Michel Hernandez lifts one up to Pedroia. 2 down. But here comes my personal arch nemesis Jason Bartlett. Did I say how much I hate playing this team?

11:02 PM - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND FOUL! Close one down the rightfield line. How much would I pay for this strike? $50,000? $100,000? My left kidney?

11:03 PM - BARTLETT STRIKES OUT!!!!!! I don't wanna get all Al Michaels on all of you, so I won't say it. But you know what quote I have in mind right now. I can't believe it! I mean, we got out of two, count it, TWO bases loaded, no out jams today. Anyway, who wants a kidney?

11:06 PM - YES! V-Mart starts the 11th with a base hit to center. Good timing to snap an 0 for 4. Here comes YOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUK.

11:09 PM - Youk strikes out, with annoying circus music in the background. I don't think blood can boil at a higher temperature than mine is right now. Ortiz coming up. Desperately need some clutch here.

11:12 PM - Big Papi.....sooooooooo close to hitting an opposite field shot. If only the air conditioning was on high at the Trop. 2 down. G.G. Drew up to bat.

11:15 PM - Drew ends the inning by grounding out. I wonder how much money we pay for each groundout? At least we're paying for a "quality" .248 batting average. Just found out that Papelbon is coming in the game. Now shopping for my own coffin. I can't take this anymore.

11:20 PM - Big out recorded as Crawford grounds out to Youk. Still in prayer position as Longoria steps to the plate. I'm surprised that my dinner has stayed in my stomach throughout all of this.

11:24 PM - Longoria swings and misses on a fastball in a favorable location. I think I felt my heart go in my throat.

11:26 PM - LONGORIA STRIKES OUT! That's the golden sombrero for him. Zo-Beast will step up, creating an interesting dilemma for my fantasy team.

11:28 PM- Aaaaaaaaand we're out of it. Papelbon gets out of the inning scot free, and surprisingly with efficiency (at least by Papelbon standards). He's usually 25-35 pitches an outing anyway. So why not another inning? I can't get anymore tense.

11:32 PM - Reddick reaches the golden sombrero as Balfour has retired 5 in a row. He's just money right now.

11:34 PM - Lowrie pops out of the inning. Looks like Saito is coming into the bottom of the 12th with no replacements behind him. It's looking like one of those specific moments that trading Masterson might have been a reeeeeeal bad idea.

11:37 PM - Saito promptly walks the allegedly dangerous Joe Dillon. Carlos "I Wish We Kept Him Just So He Wouldn't Torture Us Constantly With The Rays" Peña steps in the box. Yowsers.

11:41 PM - Phew! Peña pops up to Youk. 1 down. The mighty B.J. steps to the plate (Somehow, that just doesn't work).

11:42 PM - WHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFF! Great job by Saito to stay away from Upton's wheelhouse. Still wondering what the plan is after Saito. I mean, doesn't he have a worrisome elbow? If Casey Kotchman comes out to the 'pen, I might just have to end this gamecast prematurely due to the constant F-bombs that will be written. On a side note, Casey Kotchman has got more references on this gamecast than some of the people that have played. Be proud Case, be proud!

11:48 PM - Just found out that Buchholz is in the pen. The F-bombs may still fly after all.

11:49 PM - Saito strikes out Gross on a sick breaking ball. We seriously need some Incan ritual to wake up this offense. Ooooooh, that Corona commercial is back on. Which reminds me that alcohol would have been a good thing to have on hand. Hmmmmmm, maybe not.

11:52 PM - B.J. glides under the Ellsbury liner on a 3-1 count from Lance Cormier. Finding a virgin fly in the house I could sacrifice. MVPedroia steps up.

11:55 PM - Lazy pop-ups are the theme of the day as Pedroia is retired. Where's the clutch? V-Mart coming to the plate as my buddy P-Mac is calling his shot.

11:56 PM - Base hit up the middle for Martinez. Must take advantage of Cormier's wildness. PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE YOUK! PLEEEEEEEEEASE COME THROUGH!!!!

11:58 PM - Longoria makes a grab on the liner and robs a possible double. The thought of Buchholz coming in places images in my head of fire and needles poking through my skin.

12:01 PM - O.K. I guess Saito is back out. So much for protecting the arm, because we're in a pennant race!

12:02 PM - Another lead off guy put on by the Sox, with Jason Bartlett coming up. Hey, you're not a true Red Sox fan if your blood pressure is not 2,483/1,789 at all times due to moments like this.

12:03 PM - Bartlett sacrifices to bring the winning run over to scoring position with 1 out and the Crawford/Longoria duo coming up. God, just take me.

12:05 PM - Crawford grounds out to 1st. 2 down, but my worst nightmare personified (Evan Longoria) comes to the plate.

12:06 PM - Did I ever mention how much I hate playing this team? Longoria just made my nightmares come true with a 2-run bomb over the leftfield wall. Only a guy with 4 strikeouts in the game will sting us not once, but twice in the game. Who's idiotic idea was it to pitch to him anyway? Make that 13 times in the last 15 games that we have been defeated in this dump known as the Trop. Considering how many baserunners we left on base today, there is a lot we can take out of this game in terms of our bullpen. However, it is hard to believe that this is a moral victory considering we've virtually lost all close games played against this team in the past 2 years. Due to the fact that we started out with one of our two studs in the rotation, this should have been a game that the Sox took in this tough stretch. Instead, it's another thorn on the heel added by this Rays team that absolutely will not go away. It is hard to build confidence in the matchup tomorrow as the inconsistent Brad Penny will take the mound against another Game 7 hero, David Price. There's always tomorrow, but it's one of those losses that just keeps on hurting, especially in a tight race such as this. Where's the Advil?


Mochaman's Fantasy Baseball Report
- Bubba Gump Shrimpz - 129-91-18 (2nd, Steroid Freaks' Anonymous, 4.5 GB)
Barely survived a week against the 3rd place team, but surviving came with a cost as I lost the top spot. I stood pat at the league trading deadline, but starting to regret it seeing Dan Haren's last couple of performances. Hoping the offense can carry this team on a day that's not the weekend. Have to keep in mind: 5 weeks + last week series with the current top team = plenty of time.

- Mocha Sox - 79-84-7 (7th, Yahoo Public 38095, 13.5 GB)
Can you say a 10-0 week? A team that was once considered as dead as Jimmy Hoffa (allegedly) has emerged into arguably the best team in the league (48-19-3 in last 7 weeks). Needless to say, I'm not concerned of the recent release of Tommy John surgery victim Edinson Volquez. My case for GM of the year grows stronger, however the competition gets stronger as the season wanes. Facing the 1st place team this week, making this a crucial matchup not only in terms of making up more ground, but making a bigger statement in the league. Looking to pull off some more Mocha Magic in '09.

- Firehawks - 75-83-12 (9th, Yahoo Public 162279, 19 GB)
Won the series last week, but barely made up any ground to ease the pain of this recent nosedive. Offense still not impressive, however I have been redeemed for my decision for putting Adam Jones in the lineup. Picked up Nyjer Morgan to get some necessary stolen bases, because I need every clot to stop this bleeding. Hoping for my whole team to catch some "fire" in the few upcoming weeks remaining (Uh-oh, I'm getting excessively punny. Pour some water on me, hahaha!).